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Infatuation Versus Real Love

Infatuation versus real love
Is this hot sexy man for real or full of red flags? Hot picture of Hugh Jackman from the amazing website Shanghai Expat

Infatuation versus real love.  That magical moment happens…you meet a man who is attractive, intelligent and there is chemistry.  The conversation is fun, playful and you’re thinking to yourself…OMG…finally!  A man I can get excited about!  I’m here to give you an excited for you but – maintain your Sassy Bitch grip on this scenario!  Please…ask questions, be aware of red flags…keep things moving slowly so you have the time to get to know him.  So you don’t…

Look past the red flags and fall into…infatuation. Infatuation makes your brain go to sleep. Infatuation makes you not care about the red flags because he smells so good and kisses sooooooo….sooooo…

Here is a nice overview of infatuation versus real love that I enjoyed on Diffen.com

Love takes time. It takes work to get to know someone. Don’t have sex too quickly.  Women do it on the second date now!  I don’t get it! Unless that is all you want…to “get it.”  Are you sure that’s all you want? One of my favorite lines from a movie is from Clueless.  When asked “how far she had gone,” Cher admits she’s a virgin and says…”you know how picky I am about shoes and they just go on my feet.” She had a clue here.  But do the rest of us?  The sexual revolution has allowed us to do it anytime, anywhere with anyone we want. Cool, right? But there are consequences if we let infatuation rule and have sex too quickly.

Like completely missing those pesky little red flags.  The red flags that will doom you to a relationship with a man who doesn’t give you what you truly need to relax, let go and fall in love with him.  Red flag awareness will keep you from wasting your time on the wrong guy.  So start asking him questions, listen to his answers and watch his actions.  Before you give yourself away and then email me asking “why is he acting this way?”

So … I met a man I could get a little excited about.  Our first conversations were epic and amazing. Our third conversation set off some red flags for me.  I cut him some slack.  He seemed genuinely nervous talking to me.  Then the red flags continued.  I asked him questions about them.  He seemed to realize my concern and tried to assure me these red flags were not a problem.  I was skeptical.  In our short dating life we already had a pattern here. The red flag was that he was too self-involved.  He would talk about himself endlessly.  I took a lot of interest in him but his interest in what was going on with me was…not satisfying me.

So I called him on it.  He called me needy.  (See this article for exactly what he tried to do by calling me needy: The Deflection)  Which I found to be hilarious because he talked endlessly about me being understanding about HIS needs, quirks, problems and issues.  How he “needed” me to be patient with him.

I understand male deflection well … I called him out on that too.  I told him that crap wasn’t going to fly with me.  To which he…freaked out.

Ahhhhh….Check mate for me. I was done with this child man.

I’m so glad I listened to those red flags and paid attention to his actions!  It has saved me so much grief.  I desire a man who is inspired by my passions.  They make me ME. He takes as much interest in me as I do him. Every girl deserves this and more.  Do not settle for anything less than a man who is passionate about YOU, sassy one…mind, body and soul!  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. The Obnoxious Male
  2. Bitch Lifestyle:  The Manual
  3. Love Games:  An Outrageous Proposal

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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