I have two men in my life that I like, a third I find intriguing, and a sexy, smart model from my past who has reappeared. He’s so good looking it’s distracting! I love the attention, but I want to make sure I stay true to me and not fall into the “Oh, no!” http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/09/the-perfect-kiss/
So I joined an online dating site.
Yes…I know. Sounds a little much. But I did this for a couple of reasons:
1. When I first started Bitch Lifestyle, I joined a dating website to learn more about the online dating process. I researched so we could all benefit. I decided to take a refresher course and relate my experience to you.
2. You know how I’m always talking about staying focused on your life and let the guys in on your terms? Let them chase you? Prove that they should have the privilege of dating hot little you? I’m applying this to myself. Because one of these men I might really like. And he is in no way ready for a real relationship. So I’m keeping myself all flirty and engaged with as many men possible so I don’t fall into the “Oh, no” again.
So let’s discuss online dating. How do you online date and let the man chase you? Easily. Remember this is about you. Who lights you up, who you find interesting. Its up to you to select. YOU. So lets keep a few things in mind.
1. Safety. You know how to keep yourself safe. Do it!
2. Keep an open mind about how a person looks and their age. I have a friend who was dating old men, short men, fat men, bald men. No one knew why she was doing it because she is beyond hot. She was doing it to enjoy the men. The play, the laughter, and keeping her mind open. You want a man who will back up his words with thoughtful actions. I don’t care how hot a guy is. The hotter guy is the one who DOES what he SAYS he’s going to do. My friend wound up dating the very hot John Corbett (Sex in the City, My Big Fat Greek Wedding) for awhile. He treated her wonderfully, but she is marrying the man who adored her. And it isn’t John.
3. Have fun with this. Don’t take it so seriously. Have fun with your profile and post a picture where you are truly happy and having fun.
4. Online dating is a fantastic way to keep your “Male BS” fine tuned. Within moments of posting my profile I get an email from a guy. Two paragraphs, well thought out. Hysterical. Dude sends out this message “en masse” to all the new females on line. There is no way he could have written that and read my profile. Lame. The next morning I had an inbox full of it. LOL. And a few messages from potential dating candidates. Emphasis on potential.
5. Don’t be too available. Within moments of posting my profile I got an IM from a man who wanted to chat with me. We chatted for a bit, but I had other things to do (I was tired and wanted to veg in front of the TV) Remember to move to your own rhythm! If you’re tired, need to work etc. do it, honey!
6. Move to your own rhythm part 2: The next morning my inbox was full of mail from men who wanted to chat with me. I did not answer those emails until later that afternoon. I had work to do, chores to do and some other fun things I wanted to do for me. Don’t feel as though you need to answer those messages asap. You don’t know these men. There are other things in your life that are more important than men you don’t know. They are your glue. Stay glued and let the men earn more of your time.
7. What is a beautiful girl like you doing on an online dating site? Translation: What’s wrong with you. LOL. Just laugh at this and change it around. Roll your eyes and think “Why are you so special, hotpants?” Don’t be angry or bratty about it. Be amused. Remember how Dolly Parton dealt with those obnoxious questions from Barbara Walters. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBf5Y0KIUHk
8. I’m pretty sassy dealing with these men. But it’s all in fun. I will use the word “Hotpants” when a guy is being obnoxious. I’ll call them on their BS if I don’t like something they do or say. Politely but playfully. Then I sit back and watch their actions regarding this. Actions are key.
9. A lot of men like to keep their options open. Why not us? May the best guy win. A guy friend of mine (that’s a whole other story) was asking me about who I was dating. Pumping me for information. LOL. He actually high fived me when he figured out I was keeping my options open. (maybe because he knew his “option” might be opened?)
Does this sound like fun to you? Being in control of your love life? It’s a blast. Below are a couple more blog posts to inspire your kick ass-ness! Happy Hunting. Love, Goddess
© S Stevens Life Strategies
1. Let a Man Chase You and Here’s How: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/let-a-man-chase-you-heres-how/
2. What We Can Learn From Men’s Magazines: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/what-you-can-learn-from-men-magazines/
3. If you’re thinking about “him” too much: Outrageous Fun: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/06/get-outrageous/