*** To love is an act. We all want love, right? Right.
Here’s my question: Are we acting the part?
There are a million ways to love. And a million ways not. A million ways to seem like we’re doing it, and a million ways to go through the motions.
In order to love we have to make a concerted effort every day to put it out there. Then we can see who is giving it back and who isn’t returning it. This is beyond scary. We may meet a Faux Girlfriend who sucks up our energy and time. http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/01/the-faux-girlfriend/ Or a man that makes us weak in the knees who sucks up our energy and time. Or various other “love suckers.” Love suckers make us scared, wary and otherwise close us up to love and go through the motions, so to speak. That’s when you need to pick up your sledge hammer and whack away. Or, know when it’s okay to sit back and take a break. Love yourself by taking care of you, regain your sass and get back in the love game. Here are ways to do both, send out the love and love yourself when you are feeling vulnerable and scared after being hurt.
Ways to send out the Love:
- Volunteer.
- Go to a pet store and love a puppy or kitten for a few minutes.
- Open doors for people. Old, young, Moms with kids. Enjoy how your action makes them feel good.
- Open doors for men with a sassy smile. LET them return the favor. Believe me, they’ll want to.
- Compliment someone on something. A nice suit, a gorgeous pin. Find the beauty in each person you meet.
- Buy someone coffee while in line at the Coffee Shop.
- Send a little gift to someone you love. Anonymously.
- Send cards to friends-real handwritten ones on why you love them. Do one a day.
- Spend a few minutes everyday connecting with someone you love. A phone call or lovely voice mail would be really thoughtful.
- Give the people you care about a warm, loving hug when you see them.
Here are ways to take care of yourself after being hurt by a Faux Girlfriend, a romantic break-up or anything else that may close your heart. Don’t put a time limit on this. The point is making YOU feel good again. It’s personal so don’t feel as though you have to rush!
- Spa night. Take your time and love yourself! Use all the senses. Treat yourself like the treasure you are and others will treasure YOU.
- Throw a “Worry Party,” “Pity Party” or “Woe is Me Party.” Give it a fun, pitiful name. Invite your girlfriends, serve dark food and beverages, dress in your ugliest outfits, play the most pitiful music possible. Start off with Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart,” and work up to shaking your booty off to “Celebrate,” by Kool and the Gang. Play, play, play!
- Get your favorite movies, some wonderful wine, cheese, fruit and chocolate and have a movie fest. Enjoy being with YOU. Solo. No guilt. Unless you need a guilt party. 😉
- Kick box, or yoga or long walks. Get physical to get rid of that edgy energy the negative people have given you. Can be very important to healing.
- Make plans with your closest friends. Tell them you want to lay low for a bit. Order in, watch movies, play cards. Laugh and enjoy those you KNOW truly love you.
- Write about it. Like exercising, this can be a wonderful way to dissipate the negative energy.
The past is in the past. Heal so you can open up again. One of my favorite quotes is, if you can’t love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you? This is the most important part. Because the more confident and loving we are to ourselves, the better we are at taking care of ourselves when “Love Suckers” try to suck up our energy and time. We trust ourselves to make better choices. When we do make our choices its because someone or something has proven worthy of our love and trust. These are the people we would do anything for. They should get our loving attention. Love, Goddess
***Pink love image from Flickr: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mmcamell/2920455998/
© S Stevens Life Strategies
Someone that I am very close to is gone right now in my life physically, but not communication wise. It can be very hard sometimes. He is one of my best friends and I love him dearly. His company was something that I got so used to having, that when he first went away I did not get too worked up about it. However, I have hit the one month mark and slowly but surely I catch myself getting weepy and wishing he was here. The reason he is away is a good one and I am happy that he is doing well. He will be coming home, but not for a little while.
I have been doing stuff to fill time or to even take my mind off the fact he is not sitting next to me on the couch during t.v. or what not. When my classes begin again this August I will have more things to keep my mind off of the fact he is not around. I keep telling myself he will be coming home, just don’t know when exactly. I write in a journal to him that I plan on giving him when I visit at the end of July telling him about my Summer and thoughts and stuff.
Like I said, I have been filling my time, but still have that loneliness a little. I keep telling myself that it will get better and things will get back to “normal” soon. Don’t get me wrong, I love the time I get with my best gal pal and we do have some great laughs. There is just a different feeling with him though.
Hi Jacklyn,
This is so beautifully written. It sounds like you two have a wonderful and deep relationship. 🙂
Are you feeling bad because you’re feeling weepy and missing him? That is so perfectly normal and
understandable. If you are, I know what you mean. Sometimes I just want to cry or rage about something
I don’t have control over. When I do I feel SO much better. It’s taken me years to realize that the same
release I get from kick-boxing anger out, I get from releasing tears. Does that make sense? Love and a big hug, Goddess
My mother always taught me that there was nothing wrong with a good cry when you are upset. Of course, don’t wallow in whatever it is that is affecting you so much, but do allow yourself to recognize the pain and sadness. She would say to me, “Just remember that pain does not last forever and neither do tears. So, get up after your good cry and think of all the happy times.” That’s what I am doing. Thinking of all the happy time and the little things. When I start to feel myself getting emotional I have my good little cry and then move on. That’s love to me. When you love someone so much you can still keep going on with your life if they are not there.
🙂 Jacklyn Love, Goddess