No Expectations, Please Part 2

No expectations and being cool with that.  Getting to this point is a huge change in mind set.  Following are ways to get you there.  And get you back when you go off track.

A.  Big job interview, speech or meeting: 

1.  Take some extra time for you before the event.  Be over prepared.  Know exactly what you want going in.

2.  If you don’t get what you want, don’t lament.  Sit back, breathe and say to yourself:  Is this what I really wanted?  Is there anything I could have done better?  Or if it turned out really bad remember this:  What is the opportunity in this that I’m not seeing?  This kind of thinking makes you pro-active instead of sucking you into the “woe is me.”

3.  Being pro-active in the above example A is not working.  Do something physical.  It will help you clear your mind.  This is why I’m such a fan of kick boxing.  It gets rid of that edgy energy that keeps you in “woe is me” mode and gets you back into hot pro-active mode.

4.  Cut yourself some slack.  This will be unbelievably tough for us women.  Do whatever it takes FOR YOU to do this.   If kick boxing doesn’t work, try a hot shower, sex, a massage, taking the time to glam it up.  Key:  make this fun and not a chore to take care of you.

B.  You meet a fantastic guy.  Gorgeous brain, body and he smells amazing.  You start thinking instead of enjoying him.  Thoughts like this creep into your brain:  I want him for my boyfriend! I want to live together! Our wedding will be soooo romantic!  Our children will rock the world!  STOP.

1.  Enjoy the moments with him.  No anticipation or expectations.  When you fall into thoughts of “the future,” go forward and stay true to you by focusing on the right now:  I love how he opens doors for me.  He has a really sexy smile.  Nice kisser.  Mmmm….kissing him tonight would be fun.  Oh, that’s right.  I have kick boxing tonight.  (enjoy the thought of the next kiss.  Period)

2.  When the relationship gets more involved, stay glued to your passions.  Remember to ask yourself if this is a man that you can depend on.  Do you want a man who does what you ask him to do?  Or one that agrees to do something for you and then doesn’t do it?  You call, text, email to remind him and he doesn’t follow through.  Or worse, he gives you a hard time about it.  This is classic deflection, ladies, Bitches.  Don’t play this game.  You’re working too hard for this guy.  Stop.  This is a  simple concept that will save you so much drama.  Simple concept that is a challenge to overcome.

But you’re so up to that hot little challenge, aren’t you?  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

3 thoughts on “No Expectations, Please Part 2

  1. A-Woman Sister, a he’ll to the YES to part 2 of this blog. You are SO right that something SO simple is actually Very hard for a woman to do and that is work hard for a man. It’s in our DNA to work for men…screw that! I’m all about full on biatch!
    Bring it boys! Love u! Spell Vixen

  2. Society teaches women to “run up” after men, “101 ways to get man,” followed by “202 ways to keep him.” It’s pure craziness…men are suppose to win our affections, they should be pursing, not us, yet like myself, there are so many other women who are guilty of chasing and not even realizing it. If I have to call to remind a guy to pick me up for an event we planned or a date, in a not-so-visible way, I am doing the chasing. If I am the one to have to get the ball rolling on dates, outings, and communicating with each other, I am doing the chasing…and most women don’t realize that, just like I didn’t. But not the darken shades are off and I can see clear as day now. If you want a man to become really interested in you—you want him to chase you, then don’t chase after him, don’t call, don’t text and don’t lose yourself regardless of how much you like or you love the guy. If you want to turn things around in your current relationship, then start taking the advice from this blog and reading both books by Sherry Argov “Why men love bitches” is great as well. I find that those women who don’t settle for less than they deserve in the realms of love, often times get just the type of man they desire and deserve. Ladies, don’t ever, ever settle in the matters of love and relationships…think about it, you may spend the rest of your life with this person, do you want to be unhappy? Do you want to be the one always doing most of the “work” while he sits back with his hands cross reaping the benefits of it? It’s not worth it in the end.

  3. This is so beautifully written. Thank you thank you for seeing the merit in all of this. Huge hug and a warm smile to you! Love, Goddess

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