Fear is a Future Emotion

Buffy image from www.anerdoccurrence.com

Buffy the Vampire Slayer-a strong, powerful woman who didn’t live in soltitude like most slayers.  She surrounded herself with loved ones and hot men! She refused to compromise on things that brought her pleasure.   Empowered Women understand that fear is a future emotion.

“Fear is a future emotion.” A brilliant man said that to me during an intellectual discussion we were having about pleasure.  So many people live in fear of things that may never happen.  Fear of failure.  (What if it doesn’t work out?) Fear with a potential love interest. (I don’t want to hurt them) Fear of the new.  (I would never try that) The strange. (This dish is served with raw egg…no way I’m trying that.)  The different. (You want to do what?) I personally get that one all the time, LOL.  Fear, to me is a habit.  A habit that can keep me from succeeding.  And worse, fear can keep me from pleasure.  There are so many buzz words or phrases today that make you feel guilty if you go for pleasure.  These phrases keep you aligned and focused on your goals.  Cool.  I get that and sometimes it’s very useful.  But these buzz words and phrases can also be negative:  “Good things come to those that wait” (This phrase actually makes me impatient when I hear it) I want to be successful so I’m “Burning the candle at both ends” (And because of it, I have no time for me, my family, friends and I’m exhausted to the point where I’m irritable and no fun)  “The early bird catches the worm.”  (What if I function better as a night owl?)  Or my personal favorite:  “No pain, no gain.”  (Just what I want to hear when I’m on the stair master)  I’ve found that by focusing on the pleasure of my ultimate goal and not the above phrases I get more done.  When I’m feeling not so motivated I have a series of things I do to give me pleasure that refocus and refresh me.  I’ll have a tea break and give myself a high five for what I’ve done so far.  I’ll dance to my favorite song.  I’ll nibble on a piece of chocolate.  I’ll put on my boa or tiara while I work.  Or…I’ll be deeply thankful for all I have in my life.

Lately every time I discuss “pleasure” with someone, that someone immediately thinks sex.  Did you, dear reader think the same?  I would love to know.  Pleasure encompasses so much more.  And “pleasure” is looked down upon somewhat in our society.  It’s frivolous.  A reward.  It’s expensive or a distraction.  Pleasure is what we should live for.  Have you ever noticed children at play?  A little 4 year old girl going from one pleasurable activity to another?  A puzzle?  Stickers?  A book?  Their pleasure is fascinating and infectious.  I always want to contribute to their fun because it makes me feel good, too.  I can go over to my nieces’ house and tickle them and we all feel good.  Laughter is one of the best forms of pleasure.  How good do we all feel when we make someone laugh?  So here’s my question:  How do we take that—joyous pleasure—and incorporate it into society today?

Okay…all together now.  “Goddess…you want to do what?”  I want to infuse everyone with joy, laughter, pleasure and play.  I want to make pleasure what we all live for.

We shouldn’t fear pleasure.  Pleasure is a choice.  Just like fear, doubt, jealousy or hate.  Which do you prefer?  The crap?  The drama?  The situations you can’t control?  Pleasure can be scary because it feels so good and can be taken away.  If you worry and fear it, that will be your focus.  And, yeah…all that pleasure will go away.  I choose pleasure.  Love, Goddess

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