Oh no! Here they come! Get me my bottle…***
Question of the Week? Toxic People…
In the previous post on this topic we discussed dealing with “Rude People.” Click here for the post. This post is about that other, lovely group of people…the toxic ones.
First, let’s review the difference between “rude” and “toxic” people:
- Rude: Refers to bad behavior or just plain bad manners. For example, children are taught to say “please” and “thank you” or they are considered rude.
- Toxic: Signs you’re surrounded by a toxic person: You’re emotionally affected by their drama. You dread (or fear) being around them. You’re exhausted or you feel angry while you’re with them or after your interaction.
Yes…the Toxic Person can definitely be the oh so dreaded drama filled person. Nothing is ever good enough, exciting enough, complicated enough. They don’t seem to ever be happy unless everything is going exactly their way! And then? They will still find a way to be unhappy. They may be old friends, family, acquaintances, or someone you are forced to work with. Examples:
- The Toxic Friend who cried on your shoulder during a break-up. You were totally there for them and then they get a new boyfriend and never see them. OR…you have served your purpose. They disappear. Until they need you again. If you need them? They are always busy and never return calls.
- The Toxic Work Person The work place person who is always complaining about something, someone and how disrespected they are. You have a deadline and try to explain, but they say they really need to talk and may even try and guilt you into giving them attention.
- The Toxic Family Member who is always gossiping about someone else, whining, not appreciative, nosy….you get the picture.
- The Social Media Meanie who insults people. Basically if you don’t agree with them (oh the nerve!) you are human pond scum.
I think that is a fairly good list to start with, no? Let’s delve a bit further into each type and discuss ways to deal.
- The Toxic Friend: I did a WHOLE article of the “Faux Friend.” I think we have all had one, right? Here is the link to “Faux Girlfriend.”
- The Toxic Work Person: It’s a simple…albeit tough sometimes solution. Be nice, polite and never…ever…let this person make you look bad to anyone. And they may try…through gossip or another such toxic way. Getting involved in this persons’ drama will affect your work. There are probably plenty of your fellow co-workers annoyed by them too! If you are busy … ahhhh …. working … politely let them know that you can’t talk now. Who cares if they gossip or say bad things about you? Your professional attitude will only make them look bad. Remember this when they are driving you a bit batty. By you being polite, you will drive them battier and they will try and find another target. Why? You aren’t any fun because you aren’t contributing to the “drama.”
- The Toxic Family Member: Remember we can only control our own actions, not other people, so we need to suck it up. None of us are perfect all the time so family is the one area in our lives we can truly be ourselves. We all have bad days and need a safe place to let it go and family is one we are lucky to have! Uncle Bernie the close talker may be annoying, but not toxic. But what do you do with the negative or bossy Aunt at the family reunion? Be polite. It’s only for a few hours. If a family member tries to gossip? Make a polite exit. Being polite is so powerful when someone is having a meltdown or is trying to push your buttons. The point of anyone pushing your “buttons” is to get you upset. Don’t get upset! Do something that will help you pre- or post encounter to help keep your “buttons” happily un-pushed.
- The Social Media Meanie: The person who insults you on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube. Don’t engage. I’m not talking about the people who correct you in helpful way. Example: I’ve had people give me information about things on this site. When I’ve been wrong I’ve thanked them and updated content. These are people who are truly being helpful and that rocks! I’m talking about the people who insult just to insult. I’ve seen people post things on other peoples’ sites like: “You two are SO ugly,” “I think your channel sucks,” “Your content is stupid,” and those are the nice ones! Again, ignore. Think about how sad it is that people do this. To people they don’t know. They could be out doing something productive to help the needy, developing a hobby, chores…really the list goes on. If someone does this to you ignore and go do something good for you or someone else.
In conclusion…the only thing you can control is you. So do your best not to let these toxic people get to you. It’s the only way you have a chance at winning. Lastly…do your best to surround yourself with amazing people everyday. You find a gem of a person? Let them know you love them, will do anything for them and always be there for them. Love, Goddess
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