Financially Enabled or Empowered?

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                                 Awesome image from Anne Taintor on Pinterest

Are you Financially Enabled or Empowered?  If you haven’t read my last post about these two rather powerful words Do You Empower or Enable Those You Love?  it will be helpful to read that first.  Then meet me back here for your ” assessment.” So in the name of making finances fun, here is your “Sassy Financial Bitch” quickie quiz:

Please check all that apply:

  1.   I am debt free.
  2.   I am actively saving 15% or more of my income.
  3.   I use my debit card instead of my credit card.  When I use my debit card it is for budgeted items.
  4.   I have a budget and stick with it.
  5.   I have a plan for my future:  Specific goals and a time table for completion.
  6.   I’ve tried to budget, but, like stuff happens.  Like Christmas and people’s birthdays.
  7.   I never save for stuff.  I just buy it.
  8.   I have boxes of stuff like make-up and body care that I never use or have never even opened.
  9.  Instead of going to a higher education institution I can afford, I took out a student loan and now I owe  $87,000 and my husband owes $50,000.
  10.   I make $200,000 a year and am in debt.

Okay…it’s pretty obvious which check offs are more empowering, right?  And before you scoff at the “I make $200,000 and I’m in debt” scenario I recently talked to a lady who was in just that situation.  She was making all this money but had no idea how to budget.  She was overwhelmed and a little ashamed at her lack of financial acumen. One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is take care of yourself financially.  Before I give you a great source for financial advice here are a few research items that surprised me and that may surprise you:

  • 76% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck.
  • Student loan debt is at a ridiculous level.
  • 90% of us buy things we can’t afford.

Yeah…that last one was me in the past.  I used to have debt and was having a love affair with my credit card.  I found something that worked for me and it can work for you.  A financial success system I started to listen to on the radio. I’m not making any money off this recommendation.  Just playing it forward.  I did the work and so can YOU.  How I succeeded was by listening to Mr. Dave Ramsey.  He has a radio show, pod cast and website with everything you need to succeed.  You don’t have to spend a dime.  You can if you want to, but I didn’t.  You can start empowering your financial life by clicking on this link:  Dave Ramsey.  So what are the benefits to you?

  • You will have immediate access to pod casts that will inspire you.  It may make you feel better about your situation because of the many people in worse financial trouble than you.
  • Budgeting tools.
  • Investing tool that will show you how much you could have when you retire.
  • Articles, sources and more.
  • 7 Baby Steps to Success.  I am happily on #4!

There is even a section for women who want to start their own businesses.  Love.  So please visit this great source for all things financial.  It empowered me and I desire the same for YOU.  Love, Goddess

Helpful Financial Resources:

The Total Money Make Over:  Dave Ramsey

Overcoming Underearning:  Barbara Stanny

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind:  T. Harv Eker

Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Do You Enable or Empower Those You Love?

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                                          Alexis Colby.  Bad Ass. Quote from:  Ginger Rogers Quote Pinterest.

Do you enable or empower those you love?

From Meriam-Webster:

Enable:  to provide with the means or opportunity

Empower:  to promote the self-actualization or influence of

Upon reading both these definitions in the Meriam online…I realized that both words were quite similar. One however, “enable” didn’t require any follow through.  Enabling seems like love but it’s not.  It weakens the person that you think you are helping.  How does it weaken?  No consequences attached.  For example, a client of mine knew she was enabling her father.  She knew she had to stop.  She just couldn’t put the words and actions together so she could stop.  She wanted help from me to effectively do that.  Here is the scenario:

Justine’s 87 year old father is living on social security and recently moved in with her.  Part of the reason he moved in with Justine is because a young woman was taking his social security money from him every month.  Justine’s father would just give it to her without consequences.  He didn’t require proof that she was doing what she said she would with the money.  Nothing.  Zilch.  This young woman was okay leaving him with nothing to live on!  He told Justine he would stop.  Three months after moving in, Justine found her father was still giving this young woman his social security money.


Justine’s father was enabling this young chick by letting her take advantage of him.  What was the incentive for her to take care of herself if she didn’t have to pay back her “Daddy?” Zero. Justine would be enabling her father to continue this behavior if she didn’t find a way to stop him.  Here is how we solved the problem.  I told her exactly what to do:

  1.  Justine was to tell her father that his “rent” was to never pay that chick one red cent again.  Ever.
  2.  Justine and her husband were to go and have a little chat with the chick.  It was not to happen again and if it did they would have her arrested.

Would the young chick be empowered by this?  Probably not. Not Justine’s problem. Justine had to focus on how this would help her father.  Would he be empowered?  Hopefully.  At least he would be able to spend his money! Justine would definitely be empowered because she wasn’t allowing anyone to hurt her father.  Just sitting by while these things happen to those you love is not helping them.  Sometimes you have to fight for those you love.  That is one of the many ways to truly be there for someone.  By fighting for them when they are unable.

Justine’s father is doing much better.  He’s not giving the young chick money anymore and she, of course, has disappeared.  Justine’s father is a little lonely (Justine’s mother died a few years ago) but is enjoying his grand kids and new family life.  Justine wanted to share this story here because she was relieved when she stopped enabling her father.  Thank you Justine!  You’re strength is an inspiration to us all.

So beauties…how about it?  Are you enabling anyone you love in your life?  Are you being too nicey-nice when you should be kicking someone in the butt?  Assess and address.  And here is the biggest question of all.  Do you enable or empower YOURSELF?   Yes.  We will address and asses…in the very next post.   Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1.   Are We Losing the Bottom Line? 
  2.   How to Win an Argument with a Man
  3.   Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

© S Stevens Life Strategies

July 4th Sassy Assessment

Celebrate everything this July 4th…Image from Public Domain Pictures

Hey there Beauties!  Are you excited about the super long weekend?  July 4th falls on Tuesday and we have 5 full days to celebrate our country and how lucky we are in every facet of our lives!  Are you ready to up the ante a bit? How about adding your Drama Queen, Bratty Brat or Bitch to the mix? Are you feeling…

  1. Drama Queen:  Are you in your Drama Queen?  Are you mad because you aren’t getting the attention you deserve?  Are you throwing hissy fits because your favorite bagel is gone at the local bake shop?  Irritated at your man because he isn’t doing exactly what you want when you want?  Take control of this Drama Mama by putting all your attention on you.  Turn off your cell.  Turn off your computer.  Assignment:  Read this article Beauty Rituals Empower You and create your best EVER.  Luxuriate in it.  L u x u r i a t e.  !!
  2. Bratty Brat:  No one does it all like you do.  YOU do it perfectly.  No one works harder at work. No one keeps their home cleaner. No one has the financial mind you do. No one knows how to throw a dinner party like you do.  NO ONE.  Problem is, Brat?  You’re really not so fun to be around because you aren’t slowing down to appreciate all you have going for you.  Assignment: Appreciate.  Now this is going to sort of piss you off but I want you to try anyway.  I want you to spend the long weekend appreciating everything you have. From the air you breathe to the pipes that bring you indoor plumbing.  Every single little thing, Bratty Brat!
  3. Bitch:  You’re in your Bitch.  Congratulations!  I even have an assignment for you.  It’s something the Drama Queen and Brat have a seriously hard time doing. Assignment:  Sit back, smile your most beautiful smile and be in the moment.  Notice the moment.  The more you are in your Bitch the more you are in the moment. Whatever is happening is happening and you are serene, happy and content.

Happy is one of the most beautiful things in the world.  Find your happy this long weekend.  Or up the ante on your happy.  Celebrate whichever face of the feminine you are in and discover how wonderful each one is.  Let me know where you are…how the assignments go and have the happiest July 4th ever!!!  Love, Goddess

Still not sure which assignment to try?  Read these article for more incite:

  1.  Self-esteem Quiz
  2.  The Sassy Bitch Rules
  3.  Venting Anger 101

© S Stevens Life Strategies









How to Spring Clean Toxic Things From Your Life!

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How to spring clean toxins from your life!
Awesome quote from Toxic Family Quotes

How to spring clean toxins from your life!

Just start.  One baby step at a time…Just do the ONE toxic habit.  When you have conquered that toxic habit then consider taking on another toxic habit.  This is why we are doing this one week at a time.  A client of mine, Pam, was so cute.  She was the inspiration for this post.  During a session she was so edgy!  The Brat was just ruling her life!  After a series of questions from me, she finally fessed up.  She had gone on a diet, started exercising AND quit smoking.  All in one week.  No wonder she was being ruled by the Brat.  So we worked out a schedule.  Now Pam is smoke-free, lost 10 pounds and is enjoying glowing skin.  She took it slow and it made all the difference.

Week One:  Clear the toxic clutter in your inbox, Facebook, Twitter, other social media.  Old lovers, ex-friends? Delete.  Delete anything you follow or follow back that is not empowering.  I recently had to tell someone on one of my business pages to STOP posting negative stuff.  I told her exactly why and she did.  But if she hadn’t? Gonzo. Social media is full of toxic people looking for attention.  Honor yourself by not giving them any of your valued time.  Replace with POSITIVE fun feeds and energy.

Week Two:  Identify ONE toxic habit you would like to stop doing.  Assess what makes you go to the “toxic habit.” Then you will know the trigger.  Then you can deal with the trigger when it happens.  For me?  It’s taking care of myself…mind, body and soul.  You see when I am passionately doing things everything else falls away!  Time flies and I find I haven’t had lunch. Then I’m starving and more likely to eat crap, for example.  I deal with this by always having healthy and yummy food around.

Week Three:  Change a negative toxic feeling into a positive one.  This is freakin’ hard. Miss Drama Queen in your head is always messing with you:  Drama Queens Love…  Something happens and whammo!  She starts looking at all the worst case scenarios instead of the bottom line. Solving the problem.  Seeing opportunity in adversity. (Yes, it’s there) This requires re-programming that cute little brain of yours with positive thoughts.  I know…some of you are rolling your eyes.  Don’t blame you.  That’s your Brat talking: Who Controls You Your Bitch or Your Brat?   This action is required practice to slay the negative feeling toxins from your body.  One way to do this is to fall asleep to a positive affirmation video on You Tube.  

That’s enough for one lesson.  When you’re done with these?  Visit the Drama Queen section on this site for more articles so you can remove all the nasty toxins from your life…like the Faux Girlfriend!  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Revised Edition): Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing
  2. I Can Do It® 2016 Calendar: 366 Daily Affirmations
  3. Bitch Lifestyle The Manual

© S  Stevens Life Strategies