Respect Do You Own Yours?

Celebrate the respect you have for yourself with the always fab Aretha Franklin…from numberonesongs4444 on You Tube

Respect defined:   “A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.”

One word.  One word that means so much to you!  And you have to work hard to earn it and then continue working hard to keep it. In order to go out and get respect from others you must have it within yourself.  It is one of the hardest things to do but it is everything.  And you have to know what you want so you can respect IT.  Respect requires a set of life values for yourself.  What you will and will not tolerate.  Because if you tolerate something that makes you feel horrible?  It becomes your choice to disrespect yourself.  Examples:

  1. Work:  Someone is constantly interrupting you while you work on an important project.  A project you worked so hard to get!  This may make your work suffer. Don’t be too nice. Communicate boundaries with this person. If you really like this person, make a date with them for coffee or lunch and tell them how important your project is so they understand.
  2. Your boyfriend tells you he wants to date other people.  The thought of it crushes you.  Don’t shrink just so you can have him in your life.  Move on.  That is compromising your respect and will only get worse if you “accept his terms.”
  3. Flattery.  Beware when someone is kissing your butt or throwing out compliments to “get something from you.”  This happened to me recently with my improv group.  A VERY successful theatre company contacted me regarding “working together.”  Here is an edited version of the email exchange and how I called their bluff:

Famous Theatre Company:  Good morning!  (Includes impressive resume of movie and TV stars) We want to perform  in “xyz.”  We would love to talk to you about working together in a mutually beneficial partnership.

Me:  Yes we are aware of who you are.  I’m interested in discussing what you have in mind regarding a mutually beneficial partnership.  Every improv group in the area would LOVE to work with this group. We are talking instant marketability.  Obvious no brainer.  But I’m not stupid.  Why would they want to work with our little group?  What’s in it for them? I’m just going to let him talk.

Famous Theatre Company:  We are reaching out to the most excellent improv group in the greater “xyz” area for information on how to break out performing and teaching at schools and theatres in “xyz.”  In exchange for the information you give us we’ll throw you a few tickets to our show in “xyz.”

Me:  Wow.  I wonder how many groups actually fall for that condescending flattery for a couple $10.00 theatre tickets.  It’s obnoxious to ask anyone to do that much work for them in the name of “partnership.”  I don’t care who you are!  LOL.  I have a busy day.  I’ll laugh about it with those I’m close to and answer him tomorrow.

Me:  (late the next day)  Wow…that’s quite a compliment…most excellent improv group in the “xyz” area.  I wasn’t aware that you’ve seen us perform?

LOL.  Crap called on.  He won’t be wasting my time anymore.  Or respect.  I’m not mad.  I’m amused.  But he wouldn’t be sending out these emails if it didn’t work with some people. Don’t be a person who falls for flattery.  I do not care who it is.  Even Famous Theatre Company should be treating people with respect.  Here is the awesome thing:  I now have a testimonial from this Famous Theatre Company.  How I choose to take their “flattery” is up to me.  I mean, I think we are an excellent improv group!  (sassy smile)  And I respect myself enough to own it.  Now go own yours. Know your life values.  Practice communicating them.  When someone crosses the line with you do not be afraid to let them know in the politely.  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. How NOT to be Late Night Booty Call Girl
  2. Outsmart Back Stabbers!
  3. Confidence:  Signs You’re a Sassy Bitch

© S Stevens Life Strategies

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