Emotional Rescue 101

Gorgeous picture of Alanis Morissette from USA Today:  http://www.usatoday.com/life/music/reviews/story/2012-08-27/listen-up-alanis-morissette/57353318/1

I was reading the paper on Sunday and had to roll my eyes at this condescending question from a reporter to Alanis Morissette:

Reporter:  Is it frustrating that some people still think of you as “angry Alanis” because of that song?  (You Oughta Know)

Alanis:  It’s a joke to think that anyone is one thing.  We’re all such complex creatures.  But if I’m going to be a poster child for anything, anger’s a gorgeous emotion.  It gets a bad rap, but it can make great changes happen.


Humans were given the honor of emotions.  Good, bad and really really ugly.  Just like we were given:

  1. Eyes to see
  2. Legs to walk
  3. Skin to feel and protect
  4. Hearts and lungs to breathe
  5. Lips to kiss, lick and smile with

So why do we not honor ALL our emotions as well?  Anger, frustration, impatience and … jealousy?  Why are we taught these are all bad and we should “control them?”  Yes, there are times we should learn to control them.  Like at a wedding if you are having a horrible fight with someone at the event.  Or in the boardroom.  Or any number of places.  But if we do not honor them and learn techniques to deal with emotions like anger and jealousy, the truth they are hiding is never revealed.   Pushing away and controlling our anger over our lifetime affects our health and how we learn to deal with others.  The further we push the anger away, the further we push the truth away.  Our truth is ourselves.  What we truly think, feel, or want to say.   Anger is passion.  Truth is what you are PASSIONATE about.

It’s time to turn these negative emotions into positives.  And are we ever!  Next week I am going to give you the details on a brand new coaching program.  A 3 week coaching program that will give you the tools and techniques to start turning these overwhelming emotions into something much more useful:  POWER!  Get ready to learn ways to “make change happen” and understand that these dark emotions are:  Your glorious truth!  Love, Goddess

 © S Stevens Life Strategies

Anger IS Scary. Don’t Let Anger Win

Stress Management and Anger
Hissy Fit Kitty found at Strawberry Indigo

Anger is scary if you let it be.  Don’t let anger win.  I was scared to get angry for years.  In our polite society it’s not something you do:  get angry.  You wouldn’t want to hurt “someones feelings” or “say the wrong thing.”  (written with sarcasm)  Oh no.  It’s okay for YOU to be on the other end of the anger stick though.  If someone is a jerk we have been trained to suck it up.  The result?  After years of “sucking it up,” we can get even more pissed.  Result:  We may release it in a bad way:  hello road rage.  Or, it could go somewhere in our body and turn up as hypertension, ulcers or cancer.  Here’s my “Three Phase Process to Deal with Anger.”  It helped me, I hope it helps you.  If not, keep looking.  Humans are blessed with emotions.  Some good, some bad.  It’s up to us to find the best way for each of us to conquer it in our own individual way.  One way that helps me?  Getting physical.  Kick boxing, long walks.  Vigorous exercise helps me release!!!  Research and discover what works for YOU.

Phase One:  Acknowledging and releasing negative emotions.  Your body is an amazing thing.  There’s a fascinating book by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal Your Life.”  It’s all about listening to your body, its symptoms, and sickness, etc.   How this helps you take better care of yourself.  When I first started dealing with years of being too nice and pent up anger, I broke out with the biggest pimples ever.  Worse than when I was a teenager.  The ones from my teen years would go away.  Not these.  From the book:

Pimples:  Small outbursts of anger.

The pimples was my body telling me to let go of the anger.  The enormous pimples that would not go away were symbolic of all the anger below the surface.  Years of not telling people what I really think of situations had taken it’s toll.   The anger had no where else to go and was literally overflowing out of my body.  The real, feisty me was hidden under loads of gunk.  Like the yucky gunk in pimples.  The pimples only went away after I had dealt with my anger.

Phase Two:  Practice communicating in a firm, blunt, unemotional manner.  The Bitches’ way.  That’s power and being in control.  You want it?  Ya gotta work at it.  When you have to deal with a difficult solution try this:  On top of a sheet of paper, write down what you want the end result to be.  Your Bitch Goal.  Below Bitch Goal and to the right:  supporting points.  To the left:  Anything that may throw a wrench in you obtaining your Bitch Goal.  Start with one little Bitch Goal a day, week, whatever.   Play your cute butt off with it.  You’re a gorgeous, playful seductress and can seduce anyone into doing anything.  If you feel anger creeping in—and you will, re-visit phase One.

Third phase:  Knowing and owning your anger and fear.  Anger and fear will be replace with determination and sassy fun.  Your Bitch has arrived.   There will be setbacks, but you will be so much more accomplished in dealing with them!  It’s so worth it.

Let’s recap:

Phase One=Releasing the Anger:  Kick box, dance, run as fast as you can, do whatever you can to get rid of it.  Vent to your best friend.  Just do it.  This may take awhile.  Keep focus on victory.

Phase Two=Practice calmly dealing with people and situations that anger you:  Practice expressing your opinion, displeasure, etc in a clear, unemotional way.  Keep focused on your Bitch Goal.  Again, practice makes perfect.

Phase Three=Owning your sexy sassy Bitchy self:  Adding that dash of fun and sass happens naturally when you’re confident that people and situations that try to piss you off have no control over you.  Bonus: you’ll simmer with charisma.

So get in there beautiful and fight for you by releasing anger and practice voicing that hot opinion of yours!  If you have questions, let me know.  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Validation
  2. Why Are Some People So Mean?
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home  

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Thankful it’s Monday?

Picture from Squawkfox: Where living frugally is sexy, delicious & fun.

Monday.  Blah.  Today it’s all about taking a warm, soothing, relaxing bath of being thankful, grateful and appreciative.  What are you thankful for?  I’m thankful it’s Monday.  I used to hate Mondays.  I associated them with work, stuff I had to do and stuff I didn’t want to do.   It took some work, but I changed it into a week full of opportunity.  With plenty of room for fun.  How about you?  Would you like to try?  Look at your week planned.  Have you penciled in fun?   That’s your assignment.  Add some.  Then enjoy it.  Kind of like this:

I’m thankful it’s Monday because it’s a new week to research topics to write about, experience  and discover.  I’m thankful for the softball games I’m going to.  I love watching them because not only is the team good, but they are funny!  They are constantly entertaining me with their antics.  I’m looking forward to thinking up strategic moves to make this site more successful.  I’m looking forward to the time I have scheduled with my girlfriends.  To seeing my pictures from the Red Sox/Yankee game and the flirtations with some really sexy men I’ve met.   I’m excited about going to the farmers’ markets and savoring the fresh produce!  And the really great thing is…there is room in my schedule for some spontaneous fun!  Yay!

Get the picture?  For some ideas on adding fun, if it’s a little sparse in your schedule, check out Get Outrageous.  But Goddess…I don’t have time for this.  I am busy.  I have to do A,B,C,D etc.  I don’t have time to be so frivolous.  I’m stressed with all I need to do.  I have the week from hell.  Thanks, Brat.  You’re so cute, and I love that part of you! Let’s Laugh together with Who Controls You Your Bitch or Brat?  Really in a pissed off funk?  Do this Vent Anger: to get your Bitch back.  She’s so much more fun!

Let me know if you have any questions, or want me to play “Love Affair with Anger” with you.  I’d do just about anything to get you all playful, feisty and thankful again!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies