Keys to Success: What a Savvy Woman Wouldn’t Do

Keys to Success: What a Savvy Woman Wouldn’t Do.  Having one of those days?  A day full of curve balls, irritations and no room to fit them all in?  First things’ first.  Before you do one more thing:

  1. Take care of yourself.  With a shot of tequila, a shower or a manicure/pedicure.
  2. Find your humor and your perseverance.  Watch the video above and then revisit the full article here:  What a Sassy Bitch Wouldn’t be Caught Dead Doing

Right here and now we are going to focus on one of the biggest Keys to Success: What a Savvy Woman Wouldn’t do scenarios:

Failing to rise to the challenge.

You have two choices here.  Rock it or Run.  Challenges are like a little wink from the Universe. You want more in life?  Universe is asking if you want to play.  Throw off the urge to give Ms. Universe the finger.  Or not.  Give her the finger and then start rocking that challenge!  But back to first things first…

1. Take care of yourself.  So you can get past the emotional element and start to focus on what you want.  The Drama Queen, aka “the emotional element” in you wants to keep you unfocused and unhappy.  She loves you unhappy and insecure.  This is why you must take care of yourself.  By putting the attention on you and not her negative ways, you are telling her to SHUT UP!    Once you get Drama Queen to shut up…you can focus.  Which brings us to the second part of the “rising to the challenge” process.

2.  Look for the positive in the challenge.  Trust me.  There IS one in there. Lurking past the pain, frustration and anger.  Drama Queen wouldn’t know pleasure if it hit her in her depressed little face. She only knows pain.  She can’t see that the challenge is change. A change that means your desires are going to be fulfilled. Desires are funny that way.  Sometimes they are hidden behind something you don’t want to let go:

  1. A man who is bad for you
  2. A “friend” who does nothing but suck the life out of you
  3. Your comfort zone

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” – Neale Donald Walsch

Ms. Universe wants you to be uncomfortable sometimes.  So she can give you oh so much more. So the next time Ms. Universe gives you a challenge?  Go ahead and lament about it for a bit.  Vent to a friend.  Then take action:

  1. Take care of yourself.
  2. Find the positive in the challenge.  What is the desire behind the challenge that Miss Drama Queen doesn’t want you to see?
  3. Embrace that which is making you uncomfortable. Be grateful for the change that is coming. Because change may be granting you your desires.

It’s up to you…rock it or run?  I know you want to rock it.  So here is more inspiration for you to do just that.  Lord knows sometimes we need more that just the friendly written reminder.  (warm smile)  Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Bitch Lifestyle:  The Manual
  2. Love this lady for inspiration on leadership and success:  Lolly Daskal and on Twitter: @LollyDaskal
  3. Need some positive mojo on a more consistent basis because Drama Queen won’t, ahem…shut up?  Manifestation Miracles.
  4. Private Coaching with me:  Negative Emotions-How to Kick Them to the Curb
  5. I’ve been talking about this a lot lately…find a way to make this work for you…play!  What are the Health Benefits of Meditation

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Bratty B

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Image from the fab Experience Project:

Ever find yourself in a place where the world around you is the definition of fabulous and yet you feel…

Like Bratty Bitch?

First…you’re in shock mode.  Why would you be bratty here and now?  You brush it off.   A little while later you catch yourself being all bratty and drama again.  Then guilt sets in because you can’t believe you’re surrounded with such good and all you can feel is Bratty, Surly and Drama Queen Bitchy.  Then the beauty around you blurs and fades away…the sights, sounds, flavors and sass disappear.  There is nothing of beauty, nothing of pleasure.  All guilt, all brat, all downer.  Which depresses you.

And then you are really in the dark.

Then…slowly over the months and years it becomes a habit.  The “dark” becomes the norm.  You see good but most likely it will piss you off.  Like the really happy in love couple, the piece of cheesecake you no longer allow yourself to eat, the car you feel you will never have, the vacation you will probably never take, the job you would die to have but it takes too much work.  Then it’s…

Going through the motions time.  Go to work, go home, do chores, read a book or watch a movie and then to bed.  Maybe you giggle over a moment during a TV show.  Maybe you have some cool plans at a new restaurant over the weekend.  You meet new people, new guys, but nothing really thrills you.  “It’s them, not you.”  You lie to yourself.  The truth is, it’s all you, Bitch.

The going through the motions, the dark, the bratty, the drama.  Not meeting any great guys?  Yeah…it’s YOU.   Not happy with your course in life?  That’s called “settling” and that is your fault too. Bummed that you are not doing A, B or C?  That’s you, too.  Whiny brat.  Does this piss you off?  Great!  That’s all you too!  You’re making a choice to settle, be mad and go through the motions. Two things can change this.  Problem is.  You are not willing to do it.  And that is all you.  I’m going to tell you the first right here and now.

The first is gratitude.  As soon as you find yourself being bratty, be grateful.  Instead of looking at the piles of shit around you, look for the piles of good.  There are always going to be piles of shit.  We walk around piles of shit all day long.  Friends get together for lunch to share each others’ shit.  We watch reality TV for more of it.  It makes us feel better to hear that someone elses’ shit is worse than ours.  Or we want validation that our shit is awful.  Problem is it is all shit.  It is all “shit focused.”  Stop focusing on the shit and start being grateful for all the beauty and good.  We see what we want to see.  Seeing shit all the time is not useful.  It is all Drama Queen.

So stop.  Take a deep breath with me and close your eyes.  Listen to the sounds around you and be grateful.  Take another breath and savor the smells swirling around you.  On your next breath start listing all the things you’re grateful for in your mind.  When you are done, write the most important on a piece of paper and print it out.  Carry it with you and look at it often. Replacing “shitty” thoughts with good ones is breaking a bad habit.  Can you even believe we have this bad habit?  It’s not hard when the world is one great big soap opera meets reality tv. You can do it though. Which leads me to choice #2.  If you really want to know?  Email me and I will tell you exactly what to do:

Class dismissed.

Suggested Reading:

  1. In a real snit?  Get your Sass back here.
  2. Do you know the signs a man wants you to chase him?
  3. All my secrets now on Amazon:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Inspiration in the Face of Adversity

Safe! Vintage image from

How do you find inspiration in the face of adversity?  It’s pop quiz time today at Bitch University!  Choose your answer:

  1. You start muttering things like “I want to die,”  “I hate myself,” and then crumble like an 8 day old cookie.
  2. You sulk, mope, whine and complain endlessly about how unfair everything is.
  3. You get pissed off and scream bloody murder!
  4. You smile deep down and say “Nice.  Bring it.”

Yeah…it’s #4.  Although #2 has some merit.  Our Drama Queens just love to lament the indignity of it all, right?  As much as we women LOVE to complain and lament, let’s focus today on something even more fun.  And positive.  And effective.   Smiling in the face of adversity and blowing it a sassy kiss!  Let’s rock that competitive environment.

I was at a friends softball game the other day.  I love watching his team play.  They are competitive and they usually win, but they don’t go overboard.  My Bitch loves the inspiration. Example:  the other day was the play offs.  They were down 9 runs but were still laughing and enjoying each other.  The other team was getting just a tad cocky about how far ahead they were.  One of the girls on our team went up to bat.  The guys on the other team started yelling to the outfield to come in come in!  They did this every time she came up to bat.  The third time she came up to bat … WHACK!  She hit a triple.  Right over all those cocky guys heads.  She hit three people home.  End of cockiness.

After she came home on the next play everyone was cheering her on our side.  She related the story that boosted her sass and confidence to hit that triple.  She said this:

“One…I don’t like it when people have assumed they have won.  Two…every time I came up to bat I heard them say “come in come in.”  I said to myself:  “Excellent…keep comin’ in boys and I’ll hit it right over your heads! ” And she did!  Oh how my Bitch loves the inspiration!


It’s like one of my favorite quotes:

“I love it when people doubt me,” Rodney Harrison

Rodney Harrison takes adversity and uses it to make him stronger.   As inspiration to be even more successful.  So HOT.  Some people let adversity win the day.  These people let others have power of them.  My girl on the softball team saw the adversity and kissed its ass!  We all have adversity and challenges hit us in the face daily, weekly, whatever.  We choose how to face it.  By either shrinking or stepping up to the plate and smashing it!  Even if we don’t hit a triple every time we don’t let people get us down.  This is all about confidence!  How do you get even more than you already have?  Keep reading.  Keep studying and keep looking for ways to kick adversity to the curb!  Love, Goddess

For more inspiration:

  1. No Expectations Please
  2. You’re Re-Awakening!
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Sass Zappers Part 2

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Yeah…there are more.  More sass zappers that leave you feeling drained, pissy and wanting nothing but a means to medicate the feeling out!  Here are a few more to be wary of and actions to get you OUT of the Sass Zapping Drama Queen Zone!

1.  Spending time with the wrong people.  The Faux Girlfriend, the guy who doesn’t want a relationship with you, the relatives that know how to push your buttons. They make you start screaming “I am so unhappy!” Deeply within you. The thought of spending time with them can leave you in a deep depression.  Action:  Kick boxing yourself into a relaxed state so you can take back control.  Then you can use the ultimate taking control tool.  Being polite and then knowing how to dismiss yourself from their presence.

2.  Being everything to everyone.  I SO had to get over this one.  When you are trying to be everything to everyone you are not taking care of yourself.  This is insecurity and lack of trust.  You are trying way too hard to keep things together and not trusting the process.  Controlling it.  The fear is if you control everything and everyone they won’t leave you.  Action:  Take care of yourself first and you will be stronger, healthier and more relaxed.  It is one of the hardest things a woman will ever do because it’s in our DNA to help everyone.

3.  Explaining yourself.  Your enemies won’t care and know that you are being insecure.  Your friends already get that about you and accept it because they love you.  Action:  Stop it.  Trust that you made the right decision for you.

4.  Being afraid of making mistakes.  Yeah…big old fear.  Happens to everyone.  Action:  Stop fearing mistakes.  The problem comes when you keep making the same mistakes and don’t learn from them!

5.  Overlooking the beauty in small moments.  One of the very first things I tell my clients is to make their “Sassy Bitch List.”  This list is a living document that they will add and subtract from as the years go by.  Whatever my clients want from the small to the ridiculous!  This requires slowing down and really focusing on what they want, need and desire.  Noticing what lights them up around them.  Savoring!  Action:  Make your list.  Plan for fun.  Plan for challenges.  Plan for doing absolutely nothing!  No guilt.  Love, Goddess

For more:

1.  Sass Zappers 101:

2.  Own Your Sass, Adios Drama Queen:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

3.  Let me Re-Awaken the Sassy You:

© S Stevens Life Strategies