Chicken Little vs. Reality


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“The world is ending?”  She purred.  “I just don’t have time in my schedule for that!”  Pin up image from the fab website I Want to be a Pin-Up http://iwanttobeapinup.wordpress.com/tag/brunette/

The Mayans prophecy or whatever it was about the world ending.  Big, enormous and bored yawn.

I say whatever it was because I didn’t care.  I didn’t spend one second thinking about “the world ending” unless someone addressed it to me personally.  Then I would say something like “Stop it.  You’re being an alarmist.  The world is not going to end.  Besides I’m too busy for it to end.”  (The last part said with playful sarcasm) It made me think of all the “Chicken Littles” in the world.  The alarmists who are whipped into a frenzy over some story in history.  Or what a reporter says in the news.  Or a moment of reality TV. Or someones’ opinion.  Something they hear to be true without one bit of research.  Or if they do any research, no consideration for the source.  Then some of these “Chicken Littles” blow their money in Vegas, get married or some other crazy thing that IF the world was going to end would be cool.  IF.  What happens when it doesn’t?  They have done something that will impact the rest of their lives.

AND they have wasted so much time.

But Goddess…that’s their right.  Sure.  I agree.  But I don’t want to hear about it.  The whining, the moaning the lamenting and the countdown.  Waste of time.  How about enjoying life every day without all the “drama” Chicken Littles?  There is plenty of fun to have every single day.  Plenty to love, party with and plan for.  That, to me is so much more meaningful than what a dead society wrote about years ago.   Drama and being a Chicken Little is a habit.  And you know what happens to Chicken Little and all her friends at the end of the story?  They are eaten by the sly fox.  The sly fox who knows how to take advantage of them.  I see people being taken advantage of by sly foxes all the time.  The Chicken Littles are scared.  They trust a King or a fox to lead them.  It gets them manipulated, dead or ruled over.  Not fun.

You know what I’ve been focused on?  The fun and spirit of this time of year.  And every other day of the year.  When a hot man smiles at me and opens a door to let me through.  A little baby boy who sees me, smiles and we play the peek-a-boo game.  How my best friend and I think so much alike that we give each other the same exact Christmas Card.  How fun it is to enjoy those I love and eat special treats.  All the unexpected surprises, gifts and joy.  How other people really enjoying the season makes me so happy!  There are two houses near where I live that have coordinated lights to music.  Amazing show.  Last night we went to the houses to enjoy the lights and music and they had turned it into a block party!  There were dancers, a unicyler and Santa was there juggling.  These are people really partying with the spirit of Christmas.  I wanted to go out there and party with them!

So in the fun and spirit of the Block Party-ers…let’s embrace their sense of fun.   Chicken Little=Drama Queen.  There are Chicken Littles everywhere.  Feeding off of some rumor, story, creation by someone.  There is absolutely nothing you can do about what they are prophesizing about.  Nothing.  Even if it were true!  The only thing you have control over is your world and YOUR PARTY!  So Bitches…we now party…be damned you Chicken Littles!  The Chicken Littles can join us if they leave their Drama Queen at home.  Now and into the new year, I wish my Sassy, Luscious Bitches the most delicious moments and the most love, play, fun and adventure that you can possible handle!  Love sprinkled with skyloads of gorgeous pink, purple and silver confetti,  Goddess

Learn how to party with everything!  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual now on Amazon.

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Calm Before the Fun


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Want to put a smile on my face? Image from Favim: http://favim.com/image/138861

Right now I’m in what I call the “Calm Before the Fun.”  I’m waiting for the big burst of fun that is coming my way in droves!  In the meantime, I’m working over time with a little fun scheduled in between.    Does this happen to you?  I’ve found this can be a danger zone.  When I’m working more hours than usual I can become overwhelmed with all I want to do and then lose focus.  Then my Drama Queen starts acting up because I’m not focusing on my needs.  Suddenly I find myself to be a bit depressed.  Symptoms of depression spring up courtesy of, yeah, you know her!  Drama Queen.  She starts saying things in my mind like “I want to be happy again!”  “Am I depressed?” So not Sassy Bitch. Something that can help us here is Bitching Up the Pampering!  Have a list of things to do that are indulgent.  This can help refresh you when your mainstays fail.  I’ve done several of these things, feel much better and will share them with you to try.

1.  Bathe like Cleopatra:  You won’t believe how soft and luxurious this bath is:  Powdered milk, essential rose oil, vanilla oil, (or your faves).  Sprinkle real rose petals on top.  Candlelight and soft music.

2. Save your dollars for a DAY at the spa.  Get the whole package.  Massage, facial, pedicure and manicure.  Bitch it up more by going with your best friend.  Have champagne, chocolate covered strawberries and yummy canapes when you get home to share.

3.  Have a Paris Day alone or with your best friend or start off solo and turn it into a party:

  • Start off your day with croissants and cafe au lait.  Extra points for finding a large body of water (a la the Seine) and enjoy your breakfast by the water.
  • Go shopping!  Look and try on clothes and accessories by French Designers.
  • Host a dinner with friends.
  • Slow the **** down!  Savor everything you do today!   Use all the senses when you eat and shop.  Discover new textures, smells and relax.
  • Tables are quite close to each other in Paris Bistros.  Consequently, Parisiennes use their inside voice.  Practice using your inside voice.  Let your voice bring someone in, play with the power of your inside voice.
  • Have a Pot Luck classic Paris Dinner.  Assign courses with you doing the main course.  Ideas:  Salad Lyonnaise, French Onion Soup, Cheeses, Pomme Frites, Roasted Chicken, Haricot Verts, Tarts, Chocolate Mouse.
  • Play French music and watch French movies.
  • Dress Paris style.  Coco Chanel for tips:  Chanel website   

4.  Two words:  Champagne Chocolates!   This was one of the winners in the chocolate survey I did a few years back.

5.  Tocca has the most amazing smelling candles.  My favorite is “Cleopatra.”  I got it for the name and fell in love with the smell!  The freshness of cucumber and grapefruit=intoxicating and seductive.  Just like Cleopatra.  Tocca Cleopatra  When you have a chance, check out the other Cleopatra products but smell them first.  I find them to be a bit different in smell than the candle.

6.  Sleep in Chanel No 5 and nothing else.  Like Marilyn Monroe:  Chanel No. 5

Whatever you do, please take the time for you.  Even a moment to light a gorgeous candle for a few moments before bed.  Then, as you blow out the candle and turn out the lights, you drift off to the loveliness of cucumber and grapefruit.  A little bit of heaven at the end of a busy day!  Love, Goddess

PLEASE share your indulgent ideas on our Facebook!  Bitch Lifestyle  

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Want more?  Check out Bitch Lifestyle Home

Boundaries

Photo: www.ampovbook.com/Order_The_Book.html

 

Image from one of my favorite sites on Facebook:  A Man’s Point of View.  Must “like” ladies!  https://www.facebook.com/WomenAndDating

Do you know what your boundaries are with people?  The other night I had a person, whom I just met, tell me things that were WAY too personal.  After telling me the “way too personal,” she moved on to another person and spilled the “way too personal.”  Then she came back to me and wanted me to look at what someone had said about the “way too personal” on Facebook.  I was listening to her go on and on and I’m all…whoa.  No boundaries.   She was in full-blown Drama Queen.   At the end of the night, she comes up to me with more drama.  She said that she didn’t understand why all these people were talking about her behind her back.  I took a deep breath and here is our conversation:

Me:  I’m sorry you’re going through so much.

She didn’t say anything and just looked at me.  Then she said:

She:  What is wrong with me? (really really whiny)

Me:  You’re really upset over the situation.  Why don’t you work out the frustration in the gym or something?  That’s what I do when I’m frustrated.  That helps me see the situation clearer.  I have to go.  I have a long drive. (Said in a soothing, yet firm way)

She:  I’m so frustrated I can’t even see straight. (kind of to herself, thinking)

Me:  (Warm smile)  Go take care of yourself.  See you soon.

This girl is so involved with her drama that she doesn’t know what she wants and is asking everyone else what to do.  She doesn’t trust herself.  Only she can know what to do for her.  And it starts by taking care of herself.  That Drama Queen energy kills everything, hotties!  It clouds your judgement, can make you treat people unfairly (because OH…so and so did this and it’s crap! Well…maybe you did something to start it) and can make life more complicated than it should be.  This may help.  Sassy Bitches love action because it helps move things forward:

  1. Exercise frustrations out.
  2. Start listing all the things you want in life and a plan of action.
  3. Treat people with respect.

When you don’t get treated with respect back?  How do you deal with it in a bottom line way?  Exercising the frustration out will help you keep calmer and more focused so you can deal with people effectively.  Then you can note what makes you feel bad: ie:  no follow through from a guy.  Then you can set  boundaries for acceptable behavior.  Recent examples from a client dealing with a “date” who wasn’t following through.  First example is Pre-Coaching.  She was really frustrated with men and was letting the frustration rule instead of stating what wouldn’t fly with her.

Client: (to date via text) Why didn’t you answer my text?  It was important because it was about last tonight!

Date:  I didn’t think we had definitely plans.

Client:  Well we did.  And you didn’t get back to me.

Well…things didn’t work out with that guy!  She was frustrated and angry because he didn’t communicate.  Guys do this all the time.  You must set the boundaries so you can stop this behavior from them.  Take care of the anger so you can communicate what won’t fly with you.  After finishing Bitch Universitys’ “Re-Awakening,” program  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/ is how she dealt with a new guy who was not following through.  (Via text)  My thoughts in italics.

New Guy:  Hey!  What are you doing in a half hour?  I want to meet you for cocktails.

Client:  I’ll be busy finishing up my work day.     Truth

New Guy:  Come on…you can do that later.  Come meet me.   Notice HE wants HER to come to him.  Getting the female to chase 101 for men.

Client:  Maybe another time.  Have fun tonight.  Bye!    Hangs up immediately to avoid further pointless conversation.

And yes…you can get here too.  I so want that for you and every other hot sassy woman out there.  Get out of the drama and into the FUN!  Love, Goddess

“Re-Awakening,” a Bitch University course that shows you how to establish boundaries with men and ANYONE who tries to cross yours:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/07/your-re-awakening/  Email me to sign up!  goddess@bitchlifestyle.com

Are you in a complete Drama Queen melt-down?  This is for you:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2013/05/negativity-how-to-kick-it-to-the-curb/

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

Moments the Crazy and the Blissful!

Love it!  Image from I Own This Shit on Facebook:   https://www.facebook.com/IOWNTHISSHIT

Moments…

You are completely convinced that you are in your Drama Queen.  You have zero patience for any crap and the critical voices are swirling around you.  Just at the moment where you are believing the critical voices, brilliance happens.  These happened to me yesterday.  Are things like this happening to you?

  1. You are PMSing like there is no tomorrow.  Any extra little curveball will throw you into a Bitchfest.  Your patience was on its last nerve 8 nerves ago.  Then this happens:  The guy who you’ve given a boat load of truth to, the guy who, upon hearing boat load of truth listened quietly.  Not saying a word.  Honoring your words by not interrupting.  He knows he royally screwed up.  Flash forward two months later.  He has produced beyond your wildest dreams for you.  You are so grateful and you are rewarding him back.  He has earned “fun, playful” you.   And here you are on your last “8th” nerve.  He is being playful with you.  He’s also jarring your chips a bit because he loves sparring with you so much.  Instead of playing back you want to drop him from something.  Like his well toned butt.  You look in his happy eyes and say to yourself no way.  He has worked so hard.  FOR YOU.  Time to get rid of the anger, Bitch.  You’ll be spending the day with him!  And you get rid of the anger because you’ve researched how to get rid of it in an empowering way.  Both of you win.
  2. You discover that you have to find parking in the middle of Cambridge Carnival International.  Streets everywhere are blocked off.  Thousands of people are wandering the streets.  The carnival is in full glorious swing.  The Drama Queen voice starts.  “You will NEVER find parking.  Ever, never.  As in no way.  Turn around.  Go home.”  The Bitch voice says.  “Keep going.”   You turn into one of the free on Sunday parking lots.  Which of course is full.  Full as in cars lined up and waiting.  You pull in anyway.  This of course, feeds your Drama Queen.  “Are you crazy?  You’re just going to get stuck behind a bunch of cars!”  As you go by the first line of cars, in the rear view mirror, you see a van start backing up.  You stop.  You can’t move because two more cars have pulled in.  Various unlady like words come out of your mouth.  Then you see him through the rear view mirror.  Your hero.  He points to the van pulling out and makes eye contact with you.  Yes!   Then the van pulls out and he stands in the space so no one but YOU can snag it.  You park, roll down the window and say “I love you.”  He says, “I love you back.”  Drama Queen fades.
  3. 45 minute walk to rehearsal location.  More curveballs.  But members of your group step up to help you.  Noticing how much you do and volunteering the perfect solution.  Having your back.  Appreciating all you do.  Yes!
  4. On the 45 minute walk back to the car, you are surrounded by Carnival goers.  One starts screaming not very nice things about white people.  You are the only “white people” around.  You’re not mad, you’re not scared.  You just feel sad that the person is so angry they scream it out to the streets.  You know it’s nothing personal.  They don’t know you and chances are they don’t even see you!  Then you hear a man talking to the woman who yelled out the negative things about “white people.”  He says calmly, “Why did you say something like that?  We’re trying to change that here at the festival.  We’re trying to show people that’s not who we are.”  I blessed him for saying that and wished them both nothing but happiness, love and success.
  5. You are laughing and enjoying some time with a friend a few hours later.  Not wanting the evening to end-almost on the verge of tears because you LOVE this person so much.  A man stops while you are crossing the street and says to you:  “You look really beautiful tonight.”  At first you’re taken aback.  Then he smiles and walks away.  You say thank you and tell him to have a wonderful night.  You watch him walk away and wish him every happiness.

Crazy times and blissful moments sometimes go hand in hand when you’re in your Sassy Bitch.  Sometimes it’s hard to see all that is going on around you.  And the Drama Queen in you is messing with your Sassy Mojo.   If you are in your Sassy Bitch?  Things go strangely slow.  You may be incredibly busy, the fur is flying but everything just seems to fall into place.  Be aware of all around you.  Surrender to the crazy and things will usually turn out better than you could’ve imagined!  Are you noticing the good, the bad and the ridiculous?  Are you getting rid of your anger and frustration on a daily basis so you do?  If you need help go here:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/09/emotional-rescue/  The bottom line is this:  You know you are in you Sassy Bitch when there is crazy all around you and things fall in place in unexpected and fun ways.  Surrender and enjoy the ride.  Love, Goddess

 © S Stevens Life Strategies