Drama Queens Love…

Assuming I’m nice? Pic can be purchased at Zazzle http://www.zazzle.com/sugar_and_spice_tshirt-235693426451919663

Assuming.

(Cue morose music)

Drama Queens assume that someone doesn’t like them.  Assume their boyfriends are cheating on them.  Assume that people are out to get them.  Drama Queens assume that their bosses don’t respect them. Because their bosses hate them, Drama Queens assume that their bosses would never promote them, never listen to them or give them a raise.  Drama Queens assume that they aren’t hot enough for some guy. Assume that they don’t have enough money for this or that but they DESERVE it.  (insert whine here)  Assume that no one understands, cares, loves, appreciates them.  Blah Blah Blah.

Bitches don’t have time to assume.  They’re too busy.  If they have a question on their minds, they ask it and be done with it.  They don’t spend hours wallowing in it.  Assuming, like whining, makes a Sassy Bitch want to nap.

When you are in “assuming” mode, you know your Drama Queen is ruling the roost.  She must be exercised.  Literally!   Exercise that little whiny brat out.  My Drama Queen surfaced yesterday.  Was I ever a little brat.  Just back from a fab vacation.  My coaching sessions with some really beautiful, inspiring women were so fun!  And my panties were soooooooo in a bunch.  It was raining out so my Drama Queen couldn’t go for a walk. (Dramatic sniff)  So what does a Sassy Bitch do when exercising won’t get rid of the brat?

Appreciation.  I went over and over in my mind what I was thankful for.  I felt better.  Then I found out a family friend had died.  He had cancer, was not expected to live long, but he died much quicker than anyone had thought.  Another reason to be grateful.  I was happy, healthy and surrounded by those I love.  More appreciation needed and completed.

So when your Drama Queen goes into “Assume Mode,”  try the following:

  1. Exercise the brat out of you.
  2. Be deeply grateful for all you have.  List all the things over and over in your mind.
  3. Lather, rinse and repeat until you are feeling your happy sassy self again.

Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading:

  1. Adversity
  2. Is There Such a Thing as a Good Cry?
  3. Healing from a Broken Relationship
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home  

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Dealing With Bullies Women Who Bash Other Women

dealing with bullies, mean girls
“Mean Girls” movie pic from the web site Psych Central: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/research/2011/mamas-dont-let-your-babies-grow-up-to-be-popular/

Dealing with bullies:  women who bash other women.  Portrayed in the Mean Girls movie by Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfried, these Drama Queens have no place in our lives.  She will create havoc and pain in the lives of the women around her.  She is extraordinarily unhappy and filled with rage.  Dealing with bullies literally sucks the life out of you!  She goes against so many of the Bitch Rules:  Bitch Rules  The two most important being:

  1. Bitch Rule #2:  We will not compete with other women.  This forum is a place where we can support, cheer, and turn each other on with our individual sense of fun, play and laughter.
  2. Bitch Rule #5:  We love our girlfriends and stay faithful always!  We do not break dates with them when our new guys call us last minute.  Or change plans with them if he wants to do something.  Our time with our girlfriends is sacred.  We keep that time when we start seeing a new man, have a boyfriend or get married.  Yay girlfriends!

Like attracts like, right?  If you choose the Drama Queens in this world, what is it about them that you are choosing?  In my past I chose Drama Queens because they always needed me.  When they didn’t need me, it was usually because they had a new guy.  I’d been dumped by them.  When they got dumped, they would come running back into my life.   I let them come back because I lacked confidence.  I lacked the confidence to tell them to “go pound sand.”  All gloriously pitiful, right?  I can laugh at this now and I would love it if you could laugh at it with me.  Because I think most women have been there.  In this day and age the “Drama Queen” epidemic seems to be rampant.  Glamorized.  Big business.   Hello any of the “Real Wives of XYZ,” on Bravo.

When you say “no” to her, you open up your world to the really good women out there who will have your back.  Ones that you may not have seen, were close to but still kept at arm’s length, or lacked the confidence to truly embrace.  To truly embrace means to truly love, doesn’t it?  And to truly love you have to know that you truly deserve it.  Love.  And we all do, it’s just sometimes life gets in the way and we don’t do what we have to do to take care of ourselves and stay grounded in our wants, desires, dreams, goals, fun and play!  So here is your Bitch University refresher course to get and keep you on the path of confident, good for you choices.

  1. After re-reading The Bitch Rules:  Put the rules in a journal or notebook.  What areas do you need to work on?  Your sensuality?  Your appreciation of all you have?  Get to it.  Pronto.
  2. Are you pissed off?  Edgy?  Constantly question every little thing you do?  You’re probably in your Drama Queen.  Start banishing her from your life:  Stop Being So Hard on Yourself    Lather, rinse, repeat until you have a grip.  Yes…this may take a while.  Commit to it and getting control over your Drama Queen.
  3. DO NOT feel bad about being in your Drama Queen.  We all go there.  Women are emotional creatures.  It’s in our DNA.   The problem is instead of making the choice to do something about it, we revel in it.  Now it’s time to revel in YOU and do something good for you.  Celebrate YOU.  Here are some fun things to do for you:  Harnessing Your Super Natural Force  

Love, Goddess

Private Coaching available. For more information:  Private Coaching  

Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Serenity in Chaos?

You-The bright light in the middle of chaos!

Serenity in chaos.

The more of a Sassy Bitch you come, the more the fur flies, the walls become bigger to climb over and the problems more do or die.  Sounds rather dramatic, doesn’t it?  The good part is, the fun quotient soars as well!  Let’s get back to the chaos example.  When you’re in your Sassy Bitch, your Drama Queen is the one napping.   The Sassy Bitch doesn’t fan the fires of drama.  She has surrounded herself with people who take action instead of PANIC.  They know exactly what to do when the shoe drops.  And sometimes?  She needs that and releases control so she can attend to other things.  Like dealing with her food poisoning.

Yeah…so here’s the story.  Saturday night I had a show with my improv group.  Theatre is packed and we have half an hour before curtain.  I find out one of my musicians is sick and can’t make it.  I have a back up musician, but he didn’t bring his guitar.  So I’m down one man and one guitar.  Calmly my other guitar player and another member of the group know exactly what to do and proceed in Mission A:  Find Guitar For Show.  Mission B:  I kept to myself.  I had food poisoning.  I had to get a grip on the urge to throw up my lunch.  All while being the Sassy Bitch in charge.  No one ever knew I was sick, we found a guitar and we had a very good show.

One of the hardest things to do is lead by example when you’re a leader.  You are the glue to everything.  You can’t get sick.  You have to motivate and make sure everyone is ready to kick ass.  You have to surround yourself with people who will have you back when you have the urge to take a back seat and just be sick.  This is never doubting yourself and people earning your trust.  And doubt will crop up.  I have a fun little exercise that really helps when doubt crops up.  It’s a little mantra.  It’s a little beauty treatment.  It even helps when you are PMSing like there is no tomorrow.  Here is what I say:

I am fabulous!  (can be said throughout the day)

Worry creeps in and I say:

I let you go because I choose to be fabulous!

There is so much power in your choices.  Choices are habits.  If we choose to worry, that’s what we get.  More of it.  Choose Fabulous.  Because THAT is what you are.  Do this every time you feel doubt and worry quivering below the surface.  Let me know how it goes.  For more “fabulous” encouragement, read these articles:

  1. Beauty Rituals Empower You
  2. Make Your Eyes Sparkle:  Literally!
  3. Fear is a Future Emotion

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies