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Does this cowboy make you think, “Yeah…he has a virility problem?”
Impossible standards are thrust upon women in society daily. The perfect body, the perfect Mom, the perfect Career Woman, the perfect homemaker. How you should and shouldn’t do things. Blah blah blah, right? Because of this web site and our building Bitch Rebellion, I am hyper-aware of all these impossible standards thrown at us. Today I was struck dumb (not easy in my pre-coffee state) of how this is done to MEN as well.
I’m preparing breakfast and turn on the TV. One of those commercials on a drug to help male “virility” is playing. I’m only sort of half aware, coffee on my brain. I look up after a few moments and was blown away by the young, drop dead handsome male they showed on the screen. To top it all off, the commercial used the ultimate American symbol of masculinity: The Cowboy. All tanned glory and going about his highly physical activities. The first thing I thought was “Wow…he is way too young and virile to need the virility drug. Or to be worried about his virility. Then I stopped thinking about it because I was, again, in a pre-morning coffee fog.
Later, after the coffee kicked in, after I put out a few fires and organized the day, I thought about that commercial. You could look at it and say, okay. Even the most masculine men can need some help. These drugs and the companies behind them fulfill a need: Helping men who need it perform sexually. When men can feel good and perform in this way both of us-men and women, benefit. Yes to that!
What disturbed me with the marketing behind the commercial:
The marketing to younger men.
The FEAR this company was marketing.
The commercial preys on a mans’ fear. He is competing with a next to impossible standard to measure up and perform to. Dude: You’re a stud. You’ll conquer the West and the woman just by taking this little pill. It’s like if I put Giselle one of those degrading “douche” commercials. Douche daily gals and you will be the ultimate beauty and smell so fresh and clean, just like Giselle. Don’t get me started on that one.
I’ll never forget what Dr. Christiane Northrup http://www.drnorthrup.com/ said during a speech she made. She said that the Women’s Fertility Industry is full of wonderful doctors, nurses and professionals. But it makes its money based on woman’s fear: that they won’t be able to have children. She did an internship at a Catholic Hospital and said “You couldn’t stop those 48 plus year old women from getting pregnant.” How many times have you heard the story of a woman who stopped trying to get pregnant and that’s when she gets pregnant?
This is the bottom line. Beware of the impossible standards thrust upon all of us, including men. We have enough to think about in our daily lives. We don’t need commercials, politicians, or fashion magazines “fearing” us into doing something.
Anger is scary if you let it be. Don’t let anger win. I was scared to get angry for years. In our polite society it’s not something you do: get angry. You wouldn’t want to hurt “someones feelings” or “say the wrong thing.” (written with sarcasm) Oh no. It’s okay for YOU to be on the other end of the anger stick though. If someone is a jerk we have been trained to suck it up. The result? After years of “sucking it up,” we can get even more pissed. Result: We may release it in a bad way: hello road rage. Or, it could go somewhere in our body and turn up as hypertension, ulcers or cancer. Here’s my “Three Phase Process to Deal with Anger.” It helped me, I hope it helps you. If not, keep looking. Humans are blessed with emotions. Some good, some bad. It’s up to us to find the best way for each of us to conquer it in our own individual way. One way that helps me? Getting physical. Kick boxing, long walks. Vigorous exercise helps me release!!! Research and discover what works for YOU.
Phase One: Acknowledging and releasing negative emotions. Your body is an amazing thing. There’s a fascinating book by Louise Hay called “You Can Heal Your Life.” It’s all about listening to your body, its symptoms, and sickness, etc. How this helps you take better care of yourself. When I first started dealing with years of being too nice and pent up anger, I broke out with the biggest pimples ever. Worse than when I was a teenager. The ones from my teen years would go away. Not these. From the book:
Pimples: Small outbursts of anger.
The pimples was my body telling me to let go of the anger. The enormous pimples that would not go away were symbolic of all the anger below the surface. Years of not telling people what I really think of situations had taken it’s toll. The anger had no where else to go and was literally overflowing out of my body. The real, feisty me was hidden under loads of gunk. Like the yucky gunk in pimples. The pimples only went away after I had dealt with my anger.
Phase Two: Practice communicating in a firm, blunt, unemotional manner. The Bitches’ way. That’s power and being in control. You want it? Ya gotta work at it. When you have to deal with a difficult solution try this: On top of a sheet of paper, write down what you want the end result to be. Your Bitch Goal. Below Bitch Goal and to the right: supporting points. To the left: Anything that may throw a wrench in you obtaining your Bitch Goal. Start with one little Bitch Goal a day, week, whatever. Play your cute butt off with it. You’re a gorgeous, playful seductress and can seduce anyone into doing anything. If you feel anger creeping in—and you will, re-visit phase One.
Third phase: Knowing and owning your anger and fear. Anger and fear will be replace with determination and sassy fun. Your Bitch has arrived. There will be setbacks, but you will be so much more accomplished in dealing with them! It’s so worth it.
Phase One=Releasing the Anger: Kick box, dance, run as fast as you can, do whatever you can to get rid of it. Vent to your best friend. Just do it. This may take awhile. Keep focus on victory.
Phase Two=Practice calmly dealing with people and situations that anger you: Practice expressing your opinion, displeasure, etc in a clear, unemotional way. Keep focused on your Bitch Goal. Again, practice makes perfect.
Phase Three=Owning your sexy sassy Bitchy self: Adding that dash of fun and sass happens naturally when you’re confident that people and situations that try to piss you off have no control over you. Bonus: you’ll simmer with charisma.
So get in there beautiful and fight for you by releasing anger and practice voicing that hot opinion of yours! If you have questions, let me know. Love, Goddess