I’m Not Letting You Go

Quote from The Notebook found at the blog Will-Jen http://will-jen.blogspot.com/2011/05/reason-behind-name-notebook.html


To love, or to close our hearts to love.  It’s a choice we make.  Every moment of every day. 

How do you know that you are truly ready to let go and allow intimate, soul-shaking, earth moving romantic love into your life?

I’m getting closer and closer.  To another phase of “letting go.”  And it is all over me.  In music.  In the people I meet.  The people who are in my life.  Family and friends.  The relaxing into trusting a man enough to open my heart and receive his love.  He may be someone I already know.  He may be in my circle of acquaintances that I just don’t “see” yet.  We may be about to meet.  All I know is that I am ready this time.  Why this time?  How do you know?

  1. I’m over old loves.
  2. I’ve chosen myself instead of people who’ve hurt me in the past.
  3. I see how I have not been ready in the past.  How I closed off when someone else was opening up.
  4. Because I’ve let go of the pain of past love, I’m noticing what I truly want.  And letting that be my guide.

Sometimes, because you haven’t gotten over a past love, you don’t hear or are not ready to hear what someone is saying to you.

“I’ll never let you go.”  He said to me.

He looked deep into my eyes and soul and said exactly what I needed to hear.  I know that he saw my terror looking him back into his eyes.  Even though at that point they were just words, I knew with absolute clarity he meant every word.  He backed them up, too.  The only problem was I let him go.  I wasn’t ready.   I wasn’t strong enough to receive his love.  I had to find that strength by falling back in love with me first.  Healing and letting go of old pain.  Do you allow yourself to do that or do you rush into a new relationship to forget the hurt?

So what are good signs that I’ve healed?  How do we notice it is time to move on and embrace a new love?

  1. Instead of being angry and noticing the pain, the hurt and the “uselessness”  around us, we notice the really good.
  2. We couple that with giving ourselves a break about missed opportunities and learn from them:  I wasn’t ready.
  3. The pieces of “really good,” make us see how breaking down one of our walls may be safe.  Because this person is giving us what we want and is working to earn our trust.

These are some examples from my life that are making me warm up to opening my heart:

  1. I meet a man on vacation and we have an amazing conversation about being “cherished.”  I tell him I like to feel protected by a man and he produces.   I don’t notice fear.  I notice how good it feels.  I relax and enjoy it more.  See Choosing the Guy You Want:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2012/05/choosing-the-guy-you-want/
  2. I notice which men in my life cherish me.  And those who don’t.  I’m able to warmly open up even more and appreciate those that are doing wonderful things for me.
  3. An amazing man from the past who I didn’t fully appreciated has reappeared.  It’s unfolding…I realize now that everything I was feeling he was feeling.  We are saying all the things that we wanted to say back then but were unable.  There are several crazy coincidences involving this that would take too long to go into.  The point is I’m not reading anything into this. I’m just enjoying it.
  4. The new Justin Bieber song “Boyfriend” is so unbelievably sexy to me.  The part where he says “I’ll never let you go”  resonates with me.  The preciousness of that statement.  The fact that when a man says that to me now and I believe him?  I would embrace it and not run like the last time.  Am I sad I let the other man go?  No.  I am so grateful for him because he read what was deep in my soul and told me what I needed and deserved.   Every day I wish him every happiness in the world.   He deserves that.  Not a woman-me-that wasn’t ready for his love.

So I’m ready to let go and let love in.  Even though I’m ready I’m not just giving my heart up to any guy.  I’m going to enjoy the attention, play my *** off and keep my eyes wide open.  I want that for you too…to find and adore the man who will “never let you go.”   Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Envy and Jealousy

Like Twilight?  Adorable picture from the website The Selfish Trilogy: http://api.ning.com/files/-p3fO2R2m4vO8tR0FYRLtHxV1aeT5h9ti9-qW0Pzm*cZpXfG8gPXgt8RKW6jHPCtir0tXpkl2fBQ8nMgJgwvbOV4OWX9zvLo/jealous20girl.jpg

Today at Bitch University we study Envy and Jealousy.

Two of the deep dark emotions that are bad.  Bad bad bad.  Think of the last time you talked to your girlfriend.  Something really amazing and fabulous has happened to her.  You’re happy for her.  Ecstatic even.  But…it starts out as a little but deep voice inside you.  There is a little “but” voice inside you going, “Great.  She has such a fantastic X, Y or Z.  I wish I had that.  I work so hard and I just can’t seem to get it.”  Then you start to feel worse because you know it’s jealousy and that’s bad.  That little “but” makes you feel awful.

What if these two emotions aren’t so bad?  What if “envy” and “jealousy” are another way to “shoulda” all over the place?  You know how I’m always telling you to listen to all the bad/scary emotions?  To let them go?  Angers and tears are a release.  You have to dissipate that energy.  Your body is screaming at you to do so so you can see the truth in your anger and tears.  So you know how to correct it.  We’re going to correct envy and jealousy now.  Your envy and jealousy is simply:

Deep, deep desires and wants.  Instead of “shoulding” and feeling guilty all over the place turn “envy and jealousy” into what they really are: “I wanta!”  Get juiced by them!  Here is an example:

Your Girlfriend:  I had this amazing encounter with my boyfriend on the beach.  He had candles, champagne and a warm comfy blanket.  We looked at the stars, had the most incredible soft kisses, for what seemed like hours.  Then he slowly made love to me.  I was absolutely spent in the most pleasured way possible!

You:  Oh…yeah.  I want some of that!

Replace the negative feeling with a positive one…acknowledging your want and …. it’s going to come to you.  And when it does it’s going to be 100 times better than what you imagine.  A friend of mine told me this incredible story about a man she met on the beach.  I got that and SO much more.  The posts “Letting Go Part One, Two and Three” http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/11/letting-go-success-part-one/ http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/12/letting-go-success-part-two/ http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/12/letting-go-success-yes/ are about this.  The keys to making this work are:

  1. KNOW when you are envious and jealous.
  2. KNOW that whatever it is that is making you this way that you WANT it!
  3. Enjoy the thought of attaining this want.
  4. Don’t put expectations on it.  Just enjoy it.  I promise you it will be so much better.  Surrender to not painting the picture.  Let it be created on its own.  Trust.

What will you get, hottie?  Just enjoy the thought!

So how is that for seeing envy and jealousy in a new light?

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies