What You Can do to Land a Man! Give Me a Break.

Fun vintage pin up from the website http://31.media.tumblr.com/

 

I watched a morning news show today, ladies.  Apparently there is a best seller on the market right now that tells ya’ll how to “land a man!”  I knew where they were going with this.  I so wanted to flip the channel.  But we’re all falling in love with ourselves aren’t we?  So, in the spirit of our common goal I watched and listened.

 

I was assured up front that these were some of her “best tips” on how you should “land a man.”  It was all about pleasing him.  What a shocker. Now I’m not saying “do nothing” to please your man.  When you care about someone and you’re having fun and respect each other it’s reciprocal.  What I don’t want to see us do is make it all about him.  Her “best tips” are in italics.  My thoughts follow:

 

1. Make sure your bedroom isn’t too frilly, girls!  You don’t want to scare him.  As an example a bed was shown that was dressed in grey sheets.  Grey sheets?  I am so not a grey sheet girl.  What do you think the chances are of me changing my bedroom around for HIM?  I have a gorgeous pink boa above my bed.  I love pink boas.  They make me feel sexy.  And I have used them on men for our pleasure. (Slowly caressing each other with a pink boa is SO fun and sensual!) I’ve never had any complaints. The boa stays.

 

2. Throw away all those beige bras!  They are not sexy.  Excuse me?  I love my beige bras.  I find them to be comfortable and practical.  Love the frilly ones too and yes they make me feel sexy.  But do you really think if you are standing in front of a guy in a beige bra he really cares about the bra?  Do you think he is saying to himself:  “God…she’s gotta throw out those beige bras in order to “land me?” This may be a little more accurate…”Mmmmm….breasts.  Whoo hoo!!!!!”

 

3. Next was advice on various things you don’t want to “pop out” on a date.  Falsies, nails, etc.  Dolly Parton has broken all those “pop out” rules since she was a teenager.  She loves herself and is a brilliantly successful woman.  She is utterly charming and says point blank:  “This is who I am…take it or leave it!  Love me for who I am.” Yay Dolly!

 

4. Wash your hair!  Huh?

 

5. Wear this and that fragrance because that’s what men like.  Of course this doesn’t take in account our own unique sexy body chemistry.  Why should it?  This is all about pleasing and landing a man right?  Why would I ever want to wear a fragrance that would please…me? (In case it didn’t come across…that was sarcasm)

 

This advice is so demeaning women.  We are beautiful women with our own minds, our own sense of style.  Books like this do not bring us up.  They bring us down.  And women are making these things best sellers!  So let’s get back on the Loving the hell out of ourselves Band wagon!

 

Your assignment is to boldly love yourself with abandon today.  Do unto your body only that which makes YOU feel fabulous.  I would love to hear how it goes for you!  Love, Goddess  

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© S Stevens Life Strategies

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

My Love Affair with Myself Passed on to You

It’s coming up, ladies…Valentines Day.  The concept is wonderful.  Let’s celebrate our love!  But the over-marketing has taken a lot of the joy out of it for me.  What will he get you…the wait and anticipation can drive you nuts.  And for the guy…he really has to produce something amazing.  And men LOVE to produce.  (upcoming blog)

 

 There was a great commercial on the radio last year.  Two guys were discussing Valentines Day.  They had no idea what to get their girlfriends.  Worse, the things that women love to receive they don’t really understand.  (Hello anything from Victoria’s Secret) They were dumbfounded on how to produce for their girlfriends.  “This is like her Super Bowl,” one says.  LOL.  Ladies, they get the importance to you and don’t want to disappoint you.  They just don’t understand all this forced lovey dovey stuff.  Like we don’t understand their fascination with football.  So…the solutions, fair ones?  Fall in love with yourself so one of the following will happen:

 

 

  1. You are able to communicate exactly what you would like to your man:  clearly, concisely one thing.  One want at a time.  Then be thankful and excited when he does it for you!
  2. If he does get the wrong thing, you still must appreciate his effort!  Anticipation of what he may do kills this for us.  And guys know we anticipate certain things and fear he won’t meet your expectations.  This is why you must thank and appreciate what he does.   He will see that you appreciate the effort he made and will be grateful you didn’t lose it on him.  (blogs coming up on how men deliberately test you)

Remember…most men DO NOT know what a woman wants.  (See earlier blog)  It takes patience, knowing exactly what makes you glow and clear communication to make him understand what you want.  This solution also works for the luscious single gals as well.  Hearing and seeing all the love from happy couples sometimes makes you want to throw a shoe at the TV.  Focus on lovely you, instead.  The world is so lucky to have YOU!!!! 

Your assignment today is your “Love Affair with Yourself.” 

  1. Do you know what your favorite chocolate is?  I conducted my own little chocolate survey.  I love Callebaut dark chocolate from Belgium and Teushcher Champagne Truffles.
  2. What would be the perfect date night for you?  Where would you go? Would you stay in and have your own little music or movie festival?
  3. Write a love letter to yourself.  What is fabulous about you?  Write it and post it up so you can enjoy it.  Put it on pink paper and perfume it like Elle Woods from Legally Blonde.

Have fun!  Love, Goddess

 © S Stevens Life Strategies

 
 
 
 

 

Let’s Talk About Men, Baby!

I love men.  I appreciate them in so many ways.  (Watch for a male appreciate blog coming up)  They’re much less complex than women are.  Which leads to huge communication issues between the sexes.  In this blog we’re going to address communication snafus and other “male mysteries.”  Bit by bit.  Like my earlier blog on “savoring” we’re going to savor and celebrate the differences in our sexes.   

 

Savoring and understanding men for who they are is so much more fun than looking at men negatively:  “I hate men,” “ All men are losers, jerks.” I think this whole attitude about men sucks.  Yes, we’ve all met jerky guys in the past.  That’s the past.  Now is now.   So put on a new hat and let’s celebrate men instead.  Don’t you want to be celebrated for who you truly are too?  We start by celebrating ourselves as women, first.

 

When was the last time you celebrated yourself?  You—in all your womanly glory? You must love yourself first before you love a man.  Love yourself so much that you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.  You rock, you adore you and you 110% know it.  We’re not talking about conceit here.  We’re talking true self love…flaws and beauty all.  Then you can communicate effectively what you want from a man and invite him into your fabulous universe.  One of the biggest questions I get from men is this:

 

“I don’t know what women want.”

 

It’s no wonder when we’re constantly fed what men want, but what about what we as women want? 

 

Let’s take a look at this months’ issue of Cosmo (Jan 2009)  “Bad Girl Sex” “Are you a Great Date?” “Drama of the Day.” Now I like fluff as much as the next girl, but some people take this stuff seriously!  Let’s look at another magazine cover:  Glamour:  “263 Juicy Answers from Guys”  (How they feel about you.  But what’s more important…what you know about you or what they know about you.  Remember…most men don’t know what you want) “21 Ways You Turn Him On,” (Great…but what turns you on fair one?)  Then there are “59 new tips you have to know about him.” 

 

Where’s the woman celebration?  Let’s start one right here, right now.  Let’s come up with our own “59 new tips about women and what you have to know “ right here on this blog.  Let’s make it juicy and fun:  60 Reasons to Celebrate Women!  I’ll start it off:

 

  1. Every single one of us has our own unique beauty, talent and passion for life.
  2. We can multi-task like nobody’s business.
  3. We give birth to beautiful babies!  Hence…we are the ultimate creators… 

Whatcha got for me ladies?  Let’s celebrate ourselves!  I’ll post the completed list soon.  Love, Goddess

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

 

 

 

Passion…enjoy some today!

 
I looked up the word “passion” in the dictionary. There were 10 different entries.  9 of which had to do with sex.  Ironically the one that “turned me on” was definition #6:  A strong or extravagant fondness enthusiasm or desire for anything: a passion for music.  The most powerful definition is buried under all that sex.  I choose to live definition #6 because infusing passion throughout my life makes everything better.
 

I love the movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. (Cinderella saves the Prince in this kick ass version of the fairy tale) Cinderella/Danielle lives each day fully engaged in life, even though she is a servant in her own home.  She makes no excuses and meets each challenge straight on.  No whining.  She wants her fathers’ legacy-his home-to remain strong despite her selfish Stepmother.  Her father encouraged her passion and she absolutely adored him.

During an encounter, Danielle and the Prince are discussing politics.  Danielle is defending her opinion while challenging the Prince on his view on the matter.  The Prince asks her, “How do you live everyday with such passion?” “Don’t you find it exhausting?” It takes the Prince days to catch up with her. He realizes he can sit back, relax, experience and learn from Danielle’s’ passion for life. A little taste there, a bigger bite the next day. All good. When he met Danielle he found what was missing in his proper, regal courtly existence. Passion for life.

Most people are probably like the Prince when they meet a person infused with the passion that Danielle has. It’s utterly charming, infectious and can be overwhelming. Like anything passion takes practice. Practice the art of passion. Here are some ideas for you (Feel free to sample or take on as many as you like!)

1.  Admire yourself in the mirror. Smile seductively and really feel this phrase: “I am the hottest, sexiest woman in the world!” Be passionate about you.

2.  Take a bath.  Relax in the bubbles and engage all your senses.  Use candles, incense, sip champagne or nibble on cheese. Breathe deeply into this “passionate” relaxation.

3.  Play some music, turn down the lights, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Move your body or not. Just be in the moment.

4.  Go outside and do something active for your body. Notice how your body moves and feels. How lucky you are to have such a magnificent Creation—-yourself.

5.  Research this question: Which blanket would I most want to cuddle up in every night? Check out and enjoy different textures. If you are going to cuddle up in a blanket every night it should make you feel wonderful.

6.  Try on a diamond at the jewelry store.  Enjoy the colors, clarity the sparkle…and how it makes you feel.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies