In the moment…
He’s caressing my arms and talking about being in the moment in that soft, sensual voice of his.
That was the moment my thinking brain awoke. My intellectual mind grasped onto “being in the moment.” Which was the opposite of what I wanted. I stopped enjoying his words and felt his touch less because thinking interrupted the pleasure he was giving me. I was able to get back in the moment by listening to what he was saying to me. He wanted me to do nothing. He only wanted me to enjoy his touch.
When do you find yourself “not in the moment?” Switching to the thinking? And why do we as women seem to do this when we are receiving pleasure?
Sheri Winston has written a fabulous book called “Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.” (Available in the Bitch Boutique above right) She examines and integrates ancient wisdom, lost and current sexual knowledge so women can have fabulous, abundant orgasms and sex. She has a chapter on the Yin (female) and Yang (male) of sexual arousal. From her book:
“Yin energy begins outside our physical self, past the perimeters of the body, in the space between people: it is held by relationship, by connection. Yin is process-orientated, enjoying the journey and not particularly focused on the goal. Yin energy proceeds from the edges, gradually moving inward and flowing downward toward the sex center. For sexual arousal to happen, yin needs time to accumulate and coalesce. Since yin energy flow must pass through all the other energy centers before it reaches the genitals, it’s subject to energy blockages, inhibitions and distractions.
In other words, we need to feel a connection and feel safe to open our hearts and pussies. And even when we do, our innate Yin can lead us off the pleasure path.
That’s all super fabulous, Goddess. So how do we stop thinking and get into “being in the moment” in pleasure? We can choose action. We can take steps that can help us switch off our thinking side and switch on our relishing side. Like Josephine Baker http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/06/josephine-baker/ we have to research what turns us on, and discover what we like and don’t like. Over time this will help us relax into lifes’ pleasures. Here are your “In the Moment” assignments at Bitch U this week:
- Don’t just exercise. Think about what type of movement would feel good to your body. Sometimes my body craves the power of kick boxing. Sometimes a long, leisurely walk so my mind can drift. Or I’ll crave slow, sensual movement, like Sheila Kelley’s S Factor. http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/01/sheila-kelley-s-factor-founder-be-inspired/ Become aware of how your body feels during certain exercises. This will help you nurture it and yourself.
- Don’t just eat. Savor. Eating is a sensual experience. We are all in such a rush that we’re forgetting this. Find a fabulous piece of double creme brie from France. Go to a cheese shop for this, if possible! Warm it up to room temperature. Open a bottle of wine. Arrange some yummy fruits and crackers to go with your wine and cheese. Slowly enjoy your feast and see what combination from above is your absolute favorite. Mine is red wine, brie and grapes. Yum! Or research your favorite fruit, chocolate, Italian dish.
- Listen. To the ocean. To the sounds of the night. You’re lovers’ heartbeat. Different eras of music. The birds, the crickets, the squirrels.
- Touch. Let your lover caress you. Surrender to his touch. Touch the grass, walk in bare feet, caress your own skin. Your skin has so many different textures. Touch the flowers, the sand at the beach, a smooth stone. Let your curiosity play!
- Engage all your senses at once. The French have a passion for food because they engage all their senses! Back to the cheese and wine: Arrange the plate so it is attractive to you, enjoy the aromas of the wine and cheese before you savor the first bite. Play some soft, sensual music to keep your pace slow and luxurious. Note the different textures between the cheese and fruit. How does the wine feel when you swirl it in your mouth?
- Be grateful for everything you have. When you start to think or worry, be grateful for what you have in that moment. Say it in your mind and feel it in your body. Look up to the sky and yell thank you!
- Share your discoveries and your ‘In the Moment” experiences on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Bitch-Lifestyle/205875411841
Well…that should keep you busy! 😉 Love, Goddess
***In the Moment badge from the wonderful blog Pushing Fifty Gently: http://pushingfiftygently.blogspot.com/2009_04_01_archive.html
© S Stevens Life Strategies