Does this Anger You?

Gorgeous image of Marilyn Monroe and quote from Guilty or Not

Does this quote anger you?  If so, you under-estimate your power as a woman.  This can be fixed when you love every drop of gorgeous you.  Women have the upper hand with men.  It’s time to own it. We are their weakness.  They just don’t want us to know that.  (Sassy Smile)  For more inspiration:

“As a matter of fact, women have an advantage in business. Men are so secure in their belief that they are supreme in business that they are often caught napping by alert women. Man thinks he’s dealing with an inferior brain when it comes to woman, and that makes him a sucker. Furthermore, women have a highly developed sense of intuition that’s just as valuable as hardheaded logic.”  Carole Lombard

A couple of notes about the above quote.  Things are much different today than in Caroles’ time.  I think most men respect women in business now.  If men don’t respect women in business it can be worked against them — if a woman gets the male ego. (sly smile)  If not…why would you want to work with the arrogant you know what?

“You’ll find that men usually play fair.  It’s all very well to say that you want to back out of a bargain because you’ve changed your mind. That’s supposed to be a woman’s privilege. But men don’t play the game that way. A man who says he’ll do a thing and then reneges, is soon put where he belongs, out in the cold. ”  Carole Lombard


“If I say I’ll do something, I make it stick.”  Carole Lombard 

Your word is everything!  Carole prided herself on her word.  Don’t promise something and then don’t produce.  It will make people wonder if you’re dependable or not.  This sort of lackadaisical attitude is rampant in our lives today.  Examples:

  1. The friend that says that they are coming to your party and then cancels at the last-minute.  Because they got a more attractive offer, perhaps?  This is not cool in most circumstances.
  2. People who don’t confirm reservations at restaurants or events.  This not only affects potential profits at a restaurant but keeps other people from enjoying the table or event!
  3. You invite people to do something and they never follow-up.  These are the people who usually get mad when you stop inviting them to things.
  4. Following up is one of the worst sins in manners today.  If someone is kind enough to invite you to something, be kind enough to respond.  Unless it’s your 100th Facebook invite from someone you barely know.
  5. Someone says they will be there and then completely blows you off.
  6. You invite people to an event on Facebook and they reply back with a “Maybe.”  This is blowing you off.  Everyone knows it so just say “no.”  Really lame.  Just be honest.
  7. Little white lies…mulitplied over the days, weeks, months, lead to laziness in the being honest department.  It becomes easier to lie than to tell the truth.  Think about that one.

And those are just a few of the ways people don’t respect others and how important their word is today.

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be  their option.” Mark Twain

The less crap we tolerate from people, the more empowered we will all be.  The “Crap Dragons” will have to play by our rules.  Or hang out with other Crap Dragons.  Or get off the Crap Wagon.  I know…bad metaphor.  I’m in kind of a feisty mood today.  Can you tell?  Love, Goddess

Additional Reading:

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Respect and the Teenage Girl

Visit ThatOneRule for amazing and fun rules!

I learn so much from teenagers.  I feed off their energy.  I’m slightly nostalgic for the idealistic ways they view life.  I have a lot of young girls following me on twitter and I love reading about what is up with them.  The dilemmas they face, the boys they date, the fun they are experiencing.

You know what amuses me?  How they EXPECT people to respect them.  Recent tweet from follower:

“Adults need to respect teenagers.  We do a lot of stuff.”

Cute, huh?  I’m sure that this person is very busy and does a lot of “stuff.”  I’m sure that if we met I would adore her.  I’d also have to tell her something very important about respect.  Something a lot of people are missing today.  Respect is something that is earned.  Over time.  In every area of life:

  • Work/Career
  • Friendships
  • School
  • How you treat others you do not know
  • Family
  • Health
  • Money

And that’s off the top of my head.

When you meet someone whom you respect, why do you respect them?  Or do you really?  Here is an example from one of my coaching clients, Amy.   Amy desperately wanted to work at a certain theatre near her home.  She wanted to join one of the theatre groups that perform their regularly.  Here is a recent conversation:

Amy:  I really want to join xyz Theatre!

Me:  Awesome.  What actions have you taken regarding that?

Amy:  Well, I go to the shows and talk to the people in the shows after.

Me:  Okay.  What else?

Amy:  Uhm…

Me:  “Uhm” doesn’t sound very pro-active.

Amy:  (slightly embarrassed)  No…

Me:  Why do you want to work at this particular theatre with these particular people?

Amy:  I respect their work.  They put such beautiful productions together.

I asked Amy if she had asked to be involved in projects there.  She hadn’t.  To make a long story short, Amy was scared.  She was intimidated by the talent she saw at the theatre.  She was scared she wasn’t as good.  Because she was scared, she didn’t take action to help out the theatre.  So the theatre didn’t take her seriously as an actress.  I told her to start helping them on projects.  To get involved.  Do little things and work up to bigger tasks at the theatre.

And Amy did.  As she got involved people started noticing her talents.  They noticed how hard she worked and how enthusiastic she was.  They thought she would be a good director so they gave her an Assistant Directing opportunity.  She wound up loving directing more than acting!  She now directs 2 plays a year there and is so happy she realized her fears were holding her back.  She also realized that when you are passionate and work hard, people start to respect and appreciate you.  Opportunities and doors were opened that she never thought she would be able to do:  ie  directing an entire play.

It’s like anything.  Would you want a respected brain surgeon operating on you or ME?  LOL…

Which brings me back to my “you need to respect me because I do stuff” gal.  Fantastic.  I would love to respect you.   I can’t respect someone unless they treat me with respect.  I will always try to be polite.  Don’t demand of me.  You aren’t my Mom, Dad or Boss.  Show me.  I’ll show it back.  With a huge warm and a sassy wink … Love, Goddess

“Help Me With a Guy” Private Coaching Program: 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Command Respect!

Do you command respect? I‘m talking in all aspects of your life: at work and at home, with family and friends. Do you have a set of life rules that you live by? When your rules are disrespected by someone, do you call them on it politely but firmly? The Bitch does. The Bitch knows that by loving herself and calling someone on their disrespect, problems are solved faster.
1. Setting up life rules commands respect for yourself and of others.
2. Your life rules make the choices you make easier.

The Bitch knows that her rules may change over time. She knows that it’s important to study and practice them:

Old Life rule: I treat everyone with love and respect.

Problem: I discovered I wasn’t giving myself the same loving patience I give others. I now expect the same patience from those I care about for me. This led to refining that life rule and morphing it into a Bitch Rule:

Bitch Rule: My family, friends and acquaintances treat me with the same loving patience and understanding that I honor them with.  I honor myself by treating me with the same loving actions.

Over time, as you respect yourself more, pleasurable things begin to happen. I love having doors opened for me wherever I go. I discovered how much I loved this respectful behavior from men and this action multiplied. Friends notice and comment on it. They say “that never happens to me.“ I tell them it would if you desire and enjoy it.

Respect for yourself multiplies in other areas, too. I don’t get hurt or angry any more from random disrespect. I communicate much more effectively my displeasure. If someone is having a bad day, it’s not my fault. Why take it personally? Taking random disrespect personally is a time waster. There are so many other things to enjoy!

Today’s assignment: Create your list of Bitch Rules. How you would like to be treated by everyone you encounter and love? Put your Bitch Rules on gorgeous paper and print them out. Post them somewhere so everyone can see them. Practice them daily and take notes. Review them in a few weeks. Do you want to make changes or additions? Continue the process until they make you feel amazing and free.
I would love to hear what your life rules are, ladies! Please share.  Love, Goddess
© S Stevens Life Strategies