Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action, minette helvetius,mae west,ninon de lenclos, frank leslie,
Image of Minette Helvetius from the fab blog Raucous Royals

“Oh, there’s life in the old girl yet.” Graham Green

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action.  Old women can’t seduce, can’t charm, aren’t desirable?


Society is obsessed with youth.  With beauty.  What’s the deal with older women?  How do they capture the attention of those in the room from their younger counterparts?  Despite being stigmatized by society as being “over the hill,” “menopause mamas,” and “ugly and old.”  ?  Older seductresses are not swayed by these insults.  They don’t see them as such. They see them as a challenge to put the dissenters in their place. The back of the room!  Succumb to their “age issue?  Please.  Sassy Bitches roll their eyes at this judgement and forge ahead with their passions and desires. The ones that really get this disarm anyone who doesn’t respect them.  How?

  1. They disarm with brilliant conversation
  2. Older Seductresses know that men are attracted to older women on a deep level.  Men are attracted to their wisdom, wit, maternal nurture and seismic sexuality

Ninon De Lenclos took a lover at the age of 80 as a birthday present.  The amusing thing about this?  The man had approached her about making love to her when she was in her youth. Finally, tired of rejecting him she told him she would bed him “When I’m 80.”  He took her literally and he was on her doorstep the moment she turned 80.  Amused, she granted him his desire.  Many years earlier she decided to do something about mens’ cluelessness toward women.  She opened “The School of Gallantry,” to educate them on all things feminine.

Isabella Stewart Gardner was considered “old and ugly.”  Despite this, she landed the hottest, wealthiest bachelor in Boston and had throngs of young men follow her where ever she went.

Minette Helvetius didn’t see her wrinkles and moles at 61.  She saw all the life that was to be lived!  She had weekly jamborees at her salon in Paris.  She would greet all the men…the scholars, statesmen, poets and philosphers with delight.  These were the most sought after men in Paris and they wouldn’t miss a party thrown by Minette!  Seventy year old Benjamin Frankin felt like a young boy in her presence and was completely infatuated.   She repeatedly refused his offers of marriage.  She told him she was devoted to her salon and personal freedom.  Check out Raucous Royals for a fab article on Minette Helvetius.

Diane de Poitiers:  King Henry the II never made a decision without consulting Diane and couldn’t live without her. Despite Diane being 20 years older him.  Despite her “menopausal malady.” Which was attacked by the young and comely Queen Catherine de’ Medici.  Queen Catherine failed in her attempts to rid herself of Diane.

Relationship Advice: The Seductress in Action, minette helvetius,mae west,ninon de lenclos, frank leslie,
Image of Diane de Poitiers found on You Tube. Check out the video for more on her life.

Mae West would hand pick her studs for the night.  What was her secret?  No late nights, alcohol, cigarettes and sunlight.  She ate lots of healthy food, drank lots of bottled water and loved to exercise.  Mae was so orgasmic she could climax in thirty seconds.  Uhm…WOW!

Late nineteenth century no place for an independent woman?  Have you ever heard of Mrs. Frank Leslie? She made out with men and money.  She used a mans’ name to rake them all in:  success, husbands, lovers and money.  She was in her prime for all those pleasures in her sixties!  Don’t think you can have a Marquis and a Prince coming to blows over you in your sixties?  Mrs. Frank Leslie did in her parlor one night.  You are not living your ecstasy, honey… up your Sassy Bitch!

So the next time anyone makes you feel old, ugly or inadequate…remember these HOT Mamas.  They took the insults hurled at them and spun them into success and sexy GOLD. When any lady does this, young OR old…this is power.  Use it wisely.  (Warm and Sassy Smile) Love, Goddess

Suggested Reading and a Course for ACTION!

  1. My Course: Bridge the Gap Between Mars and Venus!
  2. One of my FAVE books!  Seductress
  3. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Mae West – Truly Dangerous

Mae West-- She Done Him Wrong
Mae West image from a Certain Cinema:

Mae West.  How much do you know about this Seductress of the past?  She was a Seductress until her death at eighty-seven.  She was considered truly scandalous and dangerous by her peers.  She was even fined $500.00 and sentenced to 10 days in jail for starring in the Broadway play “Sex.”  The crime?  Corrupting the morals of youth.  She loved sex and had no problem talking about it and having it whenever and with whomever she wanted.  Mae even created plays and revues about it.  No apologies.  She was exactly who she was.  No apologies.  She reveled in her life.  No apologies.

You know she loved this! Image from Farm3 on Flickr:


  1. Young gorgeous man wanted to cook, clean and make love to her.  Even in her 70s and until the day she died.
  2. Mae had an endlessly entertaining wit and candor.
  3. She was a nightmare for the patriarchy:  the older woman unchained in every way.
  4. Forced out of Hollywood for her promiscuous ways and dominance of men.  Her reaction?  She already knew she was “a little too ahead of her time.”
  5. Mae had a voracious multi-orgasmic sex life.
  6. She saw “boundaries” as something that must be broken.  With relish.
  7. Colette, one of her admirers, said of Mae:  “This impudent woman alone does not experience the bitterness of an abandoned old woman.”  Think about that one…old age and all the negative social views associated with it:  Mae could have cared less.

Beyond sassy pic of Mae West from Funny Quotes from Famous People:



“I wrote the story myself. It’s about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.”

“Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.”

“Marriage is a fine institution, but I’m not ready for an institution.”

“All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.”

“Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.”

“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.”

Living life this way takes a lot of courage, moxie and a HUGE sense of humor.  Which Mae had in droves.  Use this as a little inspiration for you.  Think of it this way.  The next time you want a free drink, meal, whatever, go get it.  I get these free all the time.  Say to yourself…it Mae West can laugh at Hollywood for rejecting and arresting her I should definitely be going for xyz!  So what is your excuse for not embracing every luscious drop of gorgeous you?  No excuses.  Honor Mae with a promise to get yours and live life exactly as who you are every minute of every day.  Love, Goddess

How to live life with abandon.  My book:  Bitch Lifestyle the Manual

How to live life with abandon.  Live courses with me:

© S Stevens Life Strategies


Seduction as an Art

Veronica Franco image from the amazing “The Honest Courtesan” blog:


One of my favorite books ever is Seductress by Betsy Prioleau.  The reason why I love this book so much is because not only does she take us on a journey of the great Seductresses in history, but she made me realize seduction is an art!  We “seduce” daily.  Seduction, in business, becomes “negotiating skills.”  Courtesans were our celebrities of today.  Our Elizabeth Taylors and Marilyn Monroes.  They were followed everywhere.  They fascinated and enticed.  They ruled in a world where playing full-out with your femininity was snubbed in society.  It just wasn’t “proper.” (Insert sassy eye roll here)  How did these women do it?  How were they able to rock their femininity and live exactly the way the wanted to in repressed times?  There are women in this book that were not attractive.  They were described as “homely” and “thin-faced” or “old.”  Yet they had men all over them.  What was their secret?

They were glued to whatever gave them pleasure.  To their passion.  They were glued to their self-respect and NO ONE was going to take those things away from them.  Some were brazen about this.  La Belle Otero was known for her dancing.  Here is a link to a video on YouTube.  It shows pictures of this famous courtesan and then a rare treat.  A film of her dancing.  What struck me was the very end of the video.  How she suddenly moves with abandon!  And like a little teaser…the video ends.  I love being teased…sigh.   I’ll just have to imagine what the rest of the dance was like.  Or having the pleasure of seeing her live.    La Belle Otero

Seduction as an Art Tip #1:   Dance for yourself.  Dance with abandon like Belle Otero.

Then there is Veronica Franco who had a movie Dangerous Beauty based on her.  In Venice in the 1500s, women were not allowed to educate themselves.  Reading was forbidden. Veronica had a brilliant mind that would not be suppressed.  So she chose her mind and became a courtesan.  Venetian courtesans, in their rebellion against this suppression were brilliant conversationalists.  Men paid them just for the privilege of their witty, learned, fascinating ability in conversation.  Veronica wrote poetry and published both in a book during her life time.  Veronica Franco: Poems and Selected Letters

Seduction as an Art Tip #2:   Work that beautiful mind.  Get curious.  Don’t be afraid to question the written word and back your opinions up!

Seduction as an Art Tip #3:   Beryl Markham was all about her passion for adventure.  She roamed the world for men, excitement and prizes.   Embrace your passions.  No excuses.  Ever!

Madame De Pompadour worked her innate “grace.”  Grace is a complex virtue and when mastered it can move even the most jaded of characters.  Something that served her well in what was a very complex and treacherous existence:  Mistress to King Louis XV.  You know how bad competition among women is now.  Imagine being Mistress to the King-something you don’t exactly have power to do or not to do and all the people in court trying to take your place and bring you down.

Seduction as an Art Tip #4:   Grace is a skill Madame De Pompadour possessed and mastered.  Master yours.  It’s so much more affective than yelling, texting, IM or emailing.  You will never fully embrace your Sassy Bitch if you count on communicating through a device.  Communicate LIVE. 

Ninon de Lenclos created a school for men.  To teach them exactly how to adore and relish women.  Here’s a link to the article I wrote about her:

Every day I take a moment or two to be inspired by these women.  Women who rocked their feminine in a world where they were repressed.  How will you embrace yours today?  Love, Goddess

Books to inspire and educate you on these famous Seductresses:

  1. Beryl Markham
  2. Madame De Pompadour
  3. La Belle Otero
  4. Life, Letters and Philosophy of Ninon de Lenclos

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Ninon De Lenclos


The Brilliant Ninon De Lenclos (1620-1705) from The Pfister Hotel

In the Victorian Era-where women were not permitted to be “independent,” Ninon De Lenclos took that social norm and kicked its’ ass!  Not only was she beautiful, she was considered an “equal” to men in her intelligence and wit. Thanks to a string of very wealthy lovers, Ninon lived her life as she pleased, was loved in French court and became an author.  She also held on to her wealth…something a lot of women were not taught how to do back then.  I mean, that would involve becoming independent so you can take care of yourself, right? (sassy wink)  Want more?  Some more inspiring tidbits:

  1. Ninon was born in poverty and to keep her independence, joined a convent.
  2. Her father, in a time where women were not taught how to write, made sure Ninon learned her letters.
  3. Noticing how women were taught to buy “frivolous things,” Ninon took note instead of what men bought.  And chose those things.
  4. She divided her admirers into 3 groups: “Payers”-Conversation seekers, not necessarily sex. “Martyrs” those who struck out. “Favorites” flocked to her home to hear her play her lute.
  5. King Louis XIV never changed mistresses without asking Ninon first.
  6. Men wanted her so much:  but they didn’t meet her high standards.  So she opened “The School of Gallantry” to teach them how to romance women.  LOVE it!
  7. Ninon’s lovers paid her bills, but she refused to be “bought.”  She did exactly what she wanted.  Whenever, whoever, whatever.

Mmmmm…so ladies.  When are you opening up your “School of Gallantry?”  For extra inspiration here is the book Ninon wrote about her experiences:  Life, Letters and Epicurean Philosophy of Ninon De L’Enclos: The Celebrated Beauty of the Seventeenth Century

Suggested Reading:

  1. Scandalous Women:  Ninon de Lenclos – Mademoiselle Libertine
  2. Carole Lombard:  Feisty and Fabulous
  3. Think You’re Too Old and Ugly to be a Seductress?  Think again!
  4. Bitch Lifestyle Home

© S Stevens Life Strategies