Let a Man Chase You. Here’s How…

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Awesome quote from  Quotes Gram

Let a man chase you!  As women we have been taught to “go after what we want.”  That’s perfect for business, but in our love lives, it’s a bit backward.  Men have always been the hunters.  They love difficult things.  Like football, extreme sports and climbing the corporate ladder.  (yes…that one is fun for us, too!)  Men LOVE to produce then brag about it.  Like in business, hunting or fishing.  You ever notice how they talk about these accomplishments?  It’s always the struggle (in dramatic detail) about the giant fish he caught. (even if it’s a Minnow)  Or the meanest, toughest smartest animal he ever “brought down.”  Then they display the animal on the wall so he can talk about it whenever someone comes in the room.  Men are all about accomplishment and production, ladies!  If he says this to you, he wants you to see what a great producer he is.  (for life, maybe?) And he wants you to be proud of him.  Awww….  So how do we “go after what we want if it’s him?”  Dating tips for women:  we let him chase us and how.

He wants the thrill of the hunt and chase with you, too.  The part that drives a lot of us women absolutely nuts:  Will he call?   Why does he need space etc.  Is a thrill for him.  Did you know that when guys are sitting around with their buddies saying things like this:  “I can’t do that my wife would kill me.”  He is bragging about you to them?  He and his buddies all want the woman they can never quite figure out or control.  Strong men want a strong woman who won’t take any of their BS and will call them on it.  He knows he’ll never have you mounted on his wall and likes it that way.  🙂

So…how do we apply this dating tip for women?  How do we let him chase us?

1.  You love yourself with abandon.  No excuses.  If he can’t love you the way you are don’t bother with him.  If he says he likes blondes and you’re a brunette?  Look at your watch and say nicely, “Thanks for the drink.  I have an early morning and it’s time to go home.”  Notice his actions.  Action is key with him…the producer.  Men do a lot of things on purpose to get an emotional reaction from us. ( yes…an upcoming blog on that one! )  When he doesn’t get an emotional reaction from you, you just put the kibosh on that little game of his.  Remember one of my favorite “bitches”  Dolly Parton?  She’s “This is who I am, take it or leave it.” Period.  I’ve quoted this before in my blogs and here it is again.  When asked the key to her successful marriage she said  “When my husband gets a little complacent, I pack a bag and stay gone!”  Love it!

2.  We won’t compete with other women over a man.  If he’s trying to make you jealous with other women he is not respecting you.   And we are going to blame her?  Blame the source.  If he tells you about women that are “coming on to him” or an “ex-girlfriend” he is getting together with?  He is doing it to get a reaction from you and it’s disrespectful.  Tell him something along the lines of this:  “I really want you to be happy.  Let me know what you decide.”  Then no contact.  Let him “explore all those possibilities” if there are any.  One of two things will happen.  If he’s a jerk, and leaves you-you win because who needs that?  If he’s just trying to get the reaction, get ready for flowers.  You gave him the kick in the butt he needed.

3.  You let him “chase you” by letting him call, letting him make the plans. (and yes…you let him know what you would like to do, too!) You continue to lead your amazing life, career, pursing and researching your dreams, hobbies and desires because your life is awesome and fun without him.  Even when you’re an established couple.  Your life is important to you.  It’s something you’ve been working at, excelling at and enjoy.  It’s what makes you wonderful you!  Don’t give it up.  (After you’re an established couple, yes you can start calling him)

4.  You don’t tell him every detail of your life, so he wonders what you’re up to.  If you’re exhausted and all you can think of doing is relaxing in a bath tub?  Do it.  If he calls, he can leave a message.  You don’t have to tell him what you are doing every minute of every day.  And don’t expect him to account for his every minute.  Maintain a little mystery by keeping focused on you and your needs.  Keep moving to the rhythm that makes you feel good.

5.  While you’re getting to know each other, try to keep your dates shorter and don’t spend long hours talking about feelings with him.  (call a girlfriend) Don’t ask him “Where he thinks things are headed.”  Never bring up marriage, kids, etc.  Let him bring it up.  When he DOES bring them up, give a vague but clear answer.  “Marriage?  I haven’t really thought too much about it.  If I do get married it will have to be someone wonderful.”  Perfect.  First he’ll probably be shocked that HE was the one bringing up marriage.  Second, if he has brought it up, he’s been thinking about it and wants to see your reaction.  When you aren’t really “thinking” about it and want someone “wonderful” you just told the hunter what he has to do catch his “intended prey.”  Let the producer produce!

And there are so many more things you can do to let him chase you.  We will discuss, I promise!  This is key:  Remember that you are a “wonderful catch.”  Any man would be lucky to get you!  Make him prove that he is your hero.  Men love being heroes.  Let him prove worthy of fabulous you!  And when he does?  Appreciate the hell out of him!  Love, Goddess

Want to learn from The Most Famous Seducers in History?  Yes…I know you do!  I highly recommend this fabulous book: Seductress A wonderful resource that I keep on my night stand.

Bitch Lifestyle the Manual  All about men and owning your Sassy Bitch…now on Amazon!

Want even more?  My Re-Awakening Program gives you the tools you need to get Sassy and Man Magnet ready!  Re-Awakening Program  

Suggested Dating Tips for Women Reading:

© S Stevens Life Strategies

What You Can do to Land a Man! Give Me a Break.

Fun vintage pin up from the website http://31.media.tumblr.com/


I watched a morning news show today, ladies.  Apparently there is a best seller on the market right now that tells ya’ll how to “land a man!”  I knew where they were going with this.  I so wanted to flip the channel.  But we’re all falling in love with ourselves aren’t we?  So, in the spirit of our common goal I watched and listened.


I was assured up front that these were some of her “best tips” on how you should “land a man.”  It was all about pleasing him.  What a shocker. Now I’m not saying “do nothing” to please your man.  When you care about someone and you’re having fun and respect each other it’s reciprocal.  What I don’t want to see us do is make it all about him.  Her “best tips” are in italics.  My thoughts follow:


1. Make sure your bedroom isn’t too frilly, girls!  You don’t want to scare him.  As an example a bed was shown that was dressed in grey sheets.  Grey sheets?  I am so not a grey sheet girl.  What do you think the chances are of me changing my bedroom around for HIM?  I have a gorgeous pink boa above my bed.  I love pink boas.  They make me feel sexy.  And I have used them on men for our pleasure. (Slowly caressing each other with a pink boa is SO fun and sensual!) I’ve never had any complaints. The boa stays.


2. Throw away all those beige bras!  They are not sexy.  Excuse me?  I love my beige bras.  I find them to be comfortable and practical.  Love the frilly ones too and yes they make me feel sexy.  But do you really think if you are standing in front of a guy in a beige bra he really cares about the bra?  Do you think he is saying to himself:  “God…she’s gotta throw out those beige bras in order to “land me?” This may be a little more accurate…”Mmmmm….breasts.  Whoo hoo!!!!!”


3. Next was advice on various things you don’t want to “pop out” on a date.  Falsies, nails, etc.  Dolly Parton has broken all those “pop out” rules since she was a teenager.  She loves herself and is a brilliantly successful woman.  She is utterly charming and says point blank:  “This is who I am…take it or leave it!  Love me for who I am.” Yay Dolly!


4. Wash your hair!  Huh?


5. Wear this and that fragrance because that’s what men like.  Of course this doesn’t take in account our own unique sexy body chemistry.  Why should it?  This is all about pleasing and landing a man right?  Why would I ever want to wear a fragrance that would please…me? (In case it didn’t come across…that was sarcasm)


This advice is so demeaning women.  We are beautiful women with our own minds, our own sense of style.  Books like this do not bring us up.  They bring us down.  And women are making these things best sellers!  So let’s get back on the Loving the hell out of ourselves Band wagon!


Your assignment is to boldly love yourself with abandon today.  Do unto your body only that which makes YOU feel fabulous.  I would love to hear how it goes for you!  Love, Goddess  

Bitch Lifestyle Home


© S Stevens Life Strategies



Let’s Talk About Men, Baby!

I love men.  I appreciate them in so many ways.  (Watch for a male appreciate blog coming up)  They’re much less complex than women are.  Which leads to huge communication issues between the sexes.  In this blog we’re going to address communication snafus and other “male mysteries.”  Bit by bit.  Like my earlier blog on “savoring” we’re going to savor and celebrate the differences in our sexes.   


Savoring and understanding men for who they are is so much more fun than looking at men negatively:  “I hate men,” “ All men are losers, jerks.” I think this whole attitude about men sucks.  Yes, we’ve all met jerky guys in the past.  That’s the past.  Now is now.   So put on a new hat and let’s celebrate men instead.  Don’t you want to be celebrated for who you truly are too?  We start by celebrating ourselves as women, first.


When was the last time you celebrated yourself?  You—in all your womanly glory? You must love yourself first before you love a man.  Love yourself so much that you don’t give a shit what anyone thinks.  You rock, you adore you and you 110% know it.  We’re not talking about conceit here.  We’re talking true self love…flaws and beauty all.  Then you can communicate effectively what you want from a man and invite him into your fabulous universe.  One of the biggest questions I get from men is this:


“I don’t know what women want.”


It’s no wonder when we’re constantly fed what men want, but what about what we as women want? 


Let’s take a look at this months’ issue of Cosmo (Jan 2009)  “Bad Girl Sex” “Are you a Great Date?” “Drama of the Day.” Now I like fluff as much as the next girl, but some people take this stuff seriously!  Let’s look at another magazine cover:  Glamour:  “263 Juicy Answers from Guys”  (How they feel about you.  But what’s more important…what you know about you or what they know about you.  Remember…most men don’t know what you want) “21 Ways You Turn Him On,” (Great…but what turns you on fair one?)  Then there are “59 new tips you have to know about him.” 


Where’s the woman celebration?  Let’s start one right here, right now.  Let’s come up with our own “59 new tips about women and what you have to know “ right here on this blog.  Let’s make it juicy and fun:  60 Reasons to Celebrate Women!  I’ll start it off:


  1. Every single one of us has our own unique beauty, talent and passion for life.
  2. We can multi-task like nobody’s business.
  3. We give birth to beautiful babies!  Hence…we are the ultimate creators… 

Whatcha got for me ladies?  Let’s celebrate ourselves!  I’ll post the completed list soon.  Love, Goddess


© S Stevens Life Strategies




Passion…enjoy some today!

I looked up the word “passion” in the dictionary. There were 10 different entries.  9 of which had to do with sex.  Ironically the one that “turned me on” was definition #6:  A strong or extravagant fondness enthusiasm or desire for anything: a passion for music.  The most powerful definition is buried under all that sex.  I choose to live definition #6 because infusing passion throughout my life makes everything better.

I love the movie “Ever After” starring Drew Barrymore. (Cinderella saves the Prince in this kick ass version of the fairy tale) Cinderella/Danielle lives each day fully engaged in life, even though she is a servant in her own home.  She makes no excuses and meets each challenge straight on.  No whining.  She wants her fathers’ legacy-his home-to remain strong despite her selfish Stepmother.  Her father encouraged her passion and she absolutely adored him.

During an encounter, Danielle and the Prince are discussing politics.  Danielle is defending her opinion while challenging the Prince on his view on the matter.  The Prince asks her, “How do you live everyday with such passion?” “Don’t you find it exhausting?” It takes the Prince days to catch up with her. He realizes he can sit back, relax, experience and learn from Danielle’s’ passion for life. A little taste there, a bigger bite the next day. All good. When he met Danielle he found what was missing in his proper, regal courtly existence. Passion for life.

Most people are probably like the Prince when they meet a person infused with the passion that Danielle has. It’s utterly charming, infectious and can be overwhelming. Like anything passion takes practice. Practice the art of passion. Here are some ideas for you (Feel free to sample or take on as many as you like!)

1.  Admire yourself in the mirror. Smile seductively and really feel this phrase: “I am the hottest, sexiest woman in the world!” Be passionate about you.

2.  Take a bath.  Relax in the bubbles and engage all your senses.  Use candles, incense, sip champagne or nibble on cheese. Breathe deeply into this “passionate” relaxation.

3.  Play some music, turn down the lights, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Move your body or not. Just be in the moment.

4.  Go outside and do something active for your body. Notice how your body moves and feels. How lucky you are to have such a magnificent Creation—-yourself.

5.  Research this question: Which blanket would I most want to cuddle up in every night? Check out and enjoy different textures. If you are going to cuddle up in a blanket every night it should make you feel wonderful.

6.  Try on a diamond at the jewelry store.  Enjoy the colors, clarity the sparkle…and how it makes you feel.

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies