Venting Anger 101

I looked up “venting anger” on the Internet today.  I was curious about what the cyber world had on this subject.  A Blog called “The Happiness Project” discusses the Myth “Venting Anger Releases it,”  The New York Times says that venting anger may stave off some illness, but may cause more harm than good.  There are articles that say venting anger does absolutely no good.  Mashable has 24+ Sites Where You Can Vent Your Anger  there’s a  YouTube song declaring anger a weakness Click here to watch and the Buddists online say it’s a weakness, too.   Wow…seems like a hot topic.  Couldn’t resist a little levity, you know me.  Wink!   All the different viewpoints, actions to take and differences of opinion were confusing.  All the articles declaring the weakness and toxicity of anger didn’t make me feel good either.  So let’s sift away all the noise and agree on the bottom line.

Bottom Line:  We get angry.

LOL.  So how do we process this enormous land slide of contradicting information?  So we can deal with it constructively?  We embrace the anger.  It’s a part of us!   It happens.   So let’s experiment by giving anger  “structure” in our lives.  Let’s first agree on this:

1.  We all get angry.  It’s a part of being human.

2.  We’re all different.  What works for one individual in getting rid of anger may not work for another.

3.  We structure our “financial” “home” “family” and “work” lives, right?  So why not give another part of our lives “dealing with anger” a little of the same respect?

How do we give anger structure and make it okay to do?  We’ll make a plan and give it a fun name.  Like an “anger budget.”

My 7 Day Affair with Anger:    Get a notebook.  Pick an appropriate color.  Red with rage, Green with envy, Black with Anger.  Write in it how you feel.  Or use your computer word processor. When you get angry, write about it.  Then do something to see if that relieves the anger.  Make a list.  Try a different one each day.  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

Day One:  Kick Box-my favorite!

Day Two:  Find a friend for your “Anger Love Affair.” Write down what is angering you.  Completely uncensored.  Let it rip.  Send it to your anger friend.  Have them do the same.  Don’t criticize or analyze.  I got this idea from my lovely friend Mary Ann.  We vent and see the beauty of the raw emotion and truth to what we are feeling.  It feels so good to say what you really want to say in a safe, non-judging environment.  We don’t do this every day, mind you!  This works best for us when something major has happened, work, love, etc.  But that’s us.   You are different.  Find your own venting “rhythm.”

Day Three:  Research anger venting on the Internet.  Find something you want to try and do it.

Day Four:  This is tough.  Discuss your anger while looking at yourself in a mirror.

Day Five:  Choose a color (red?) palette in your closet and design your “anger outfit.”  Wear it.

Day Six:  Pick something from the above days.  When you complete a task, do something fun.  Take a hot shower, call a friend, dress up and have a yummy cocktail together.  Put on your favorite perfumed lotion slower than slow.  Watch your favorite funny movie, go to the fun category on this site and select something to do.

Day Seven:  Analyse what you’ve learned this week.  What felt good, what didn’t.  Do what made you feel better more.

And  that’s it.  If you want to continue your “Anger Affair” by all means do.  This is about you and only you.  It may please you to do 3 days, or maybe an anger month.  The point is, make something that is very human about us, our anger, and own it.  Play with it, discover and spit all that weakness in the eye and party with it.

I would love to hear how this goes!  Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies



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