I watched a morning news show today, ladies. Apparently there is a best seller on the market right now that tells ya’ll how to “land a man!” I knew where they were going with this. I so wanted to flip the channel. But we’re all falling in love with ourselves aren’t we? So, in the spirit of our common goal I watched and listened.
I was assured up front that these were some of her “best tips” on how you should “land a man.” It was all about pleasing him. What a shocker. Now I’m not saying “do nothing” to please your man. When you care about someone and you’re having fun and respect each other it’s reciprocal. What I don’t want to see us do is make it all about him. Her “best tips” are in italics. My thoughts follow:
1. Make sure your bedroom isn’t too frilly, girls! You don’t want to scare him. As an example a bed was shown that was dressed in grey sheets. Grey sheets? I am so not a grey sheet girl. What do you think the chances are of me changing my bedroom around for HIM? I have a gorgeous pink boa above my bed. I love pink boas. They make me feel sexy. And I have used them on men for our pleasure. (Slowly caressing each other with a pink boa is SO fun and sensual!) I’ve never had any complaints. The boa stays.
2. Throw away all those beige bras! They are not sexy. Excuse me? I love my beige bras. I find them to be comfortable and practical. Love the frilly ones too and yes they make me feel sexy. But do you really think if you are standing in front of a guy in a beige bra he really cares about the bra? Do you think he is saying to himself: “God…she’s gotta throw out those beige bras in order to “land me?” This may be a little more accurate…”Mmmmm….breasts. Whoo hoo!!!!!”
3. Next was advice on various things you don’t want to “pop out” on a date. Falsies, nails, etc. Dolly Parton has broken all those “pop out” rules since she was a teenager. She loves herself and is a brilliantly successful woman. She is utterly charming and says point blank: “This is who I am…take it or leave it! Love me for who I am.” Yay Dolly!
4. Wash your hair! Huh?
5. Wear this and that fragrance because that’s what men like. Of course this doesn’t take in account our own unique sexy body chemistry. Why should it? This is all about pleasing and landing a man right? Why would I ever want to wear a fragrance that would please…me? (In case it didn’t come across…that was sarcasm)
This advice is so demeaning women. We are beautiful women with our own minds, our own sense of style. Books like this do not bring us up. They bring us down. And women are making these things best sellers! So let’s get back on the Loving the hell out of ourselves Band wagon!
Your assignment is to boldly love yourself with abandon today. Do unto your body only that which makes YOU feel fabulous. I would love to hear how it goes for you! Love, Goddess
© S Stevens Life Strategies
Thanks so much! I really appreciate your feedback. Yes…I’m going to be writing much more on this posts’ subject. Love, Goddess
Your unwillingness to compromise would make you unattractive to most men. And to be honest i have seen many men work their butts off just to land a woman and guess what she gets a big head because of it and thinks its all about her but men put up with the crap too often if you ask me. Your aggressiveness towards rejecting anything that would probably make a man happy says a lot about how you think. Frankly you sound to selfish to date.
Dear Ivan,
Thank you for reading my post and taking the time to comment. You’re correct when you say that a lot of men work their butts off to impress a woman and the woman makes it all about her. That behavior toward a man by a woman is not acceptable. It’s disrespectful and I’ve told women so frequently on this web site.
I loved how you said that it seemed I was “unwilling to compromise.” When I wrote the article, I wrote it for women. Women shouldn’t have to compromise superficial things about themselves just to “land a man.” I also think, in society today, that men are being asked to compromise their masculinity. Women dismiss the “male ego” or aren’t being taught how to understand it. I honor men and their masculinity here: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/07/giving-you-a-hot-sexy-shot-of-testosterone/
I wouldn’t aggressively reject a man. That would be rude. What I do is communicate what I like and don’t like politely. For instance, I was on a date with a man recently where Karaoke was playing. He was trying to get me to sing an obscene song. We laughed about it but I told him I wasn’t going to sing that song in a bottom line type way and it was dropped. Other, less confident women may have compromised their dignity just to impress him and give him what he wanted.
Both sexes shouldn’t give up who they are on the journey toward love. To keep love, compromises should be given. Giving in love is something loving people want to do. Thanks again for your comment and if you have any questions, please let me know.
Love, Goddess