Why Do We Hurt Each Other With the Word Slut?

“You slut!”

She yelled at me seething in anger.  And I had absolutely no idea why she called me that.  I was about 15 years old and a virgin.

It scared the you know what out of me.  Had someone been spreading rumors about me that weren’t true?  What were they saying behind my back?  Those words flung my 15 year old mind into a Drama Queen tailspin.  I felt so horrible and I’d done absolutely nothing wrong.  Turns out the girl was mad at me because the guy she liked asked me a question about homework in class.  Yeah, what a little slut I was for answering.  (sarcastic snicker) The problem was, I was 15 and let those words haunt me for years!  I wasn’t going to be a slut.  I was going to save myself for marriage and for the man who loved me.  A few years later I was in a relationship.  Virginity intact.  My boyfriend knew how I felt and was wonderful and respectful about it.  Then I met a girl who was married.  Unhappy with her sex life, she told me that I shouldn’t wait for marriage because you wanted to make sure the guy was “good in bed” before making the commitment.  I was thrown into another tail spin.  Yeah, that made sense.  I reconsidered my stance.

For years I was caught between “slut” and “good girl.”  Not thinking about what I wanted by trying to maneuver between what society wanted me to do, not do and people using words like “whore,” “slut” and a few choice others as labels.  Labels designed to hurt.  Labels people used to hurt me when I gave homework information to the wrong person. (add another sarcastic snicker) Feminism has given us the power to enjoy every drop of our sensuality.  With a HUGE amount of backlash.  And we are stuck between two worlds.  The “slut” and the “good girl.”

So how do we enjoy our sensuality and become empowered while hovering between the two labels?  We understand how the two sides work.  And rock it.  Instead of being insulted by the two labels we are going to turn them into empowering role models.  You may be a little uncomfortable with this.  I was a first.  It’s all conditioning.  And it all can be eradicated.  Into one hot little luscious phrase.  Our Bitch Seductress.

1. Bitch Seductress
2. Good Girl
3. Slut

Notice at the top I put “Bitch Seductress?”

1. Good Girl
2. Slut
3. Bitch Seductress

Notice how I put Bitch Seductress at the bottom?  Well, she’s really not at the bottom.  She’s calling the shots.  It’s just that the world isn’t going to see it.

1. Good Girl:  Charming, slightly aloof, she doesn’t have sex until a man proves he’s worthy of her.  Once she does, she still remains slightly aloof.  He keeps wondering if he has her.  Even after he’s married her.
2. The Slut:  Gets her pleasure…all the orgasms and hot sex she wants.  With the man of her choice.  Condoms always, hotties!
3. The Bitch Seductress:  Getting the best of both worlds because she has found a way to mesh “slut” and “good girl” without giving herself away according to society’s “rules.”  She knows how to keep her Slut in check.  She knows when to unleash it and when to hold it back.  She knows her power.  She is the Dominatrix in the “Push Pull” of love.  The man does not control this.  She does.  Feminism has forgotten this essential fact.

Sounds so delicious, doesn’t it?  Not only are we happier and embracing our inner sluts or as I’d like to say, Bitch Seductress, the men will love it.  They get the best of both worlds.  A woman who takes zero crap from him and all the lovin’ he could possibly want.  We get … everything.   It’s not easy to get here.  Anything worth something takes work.   Confidence is key to loving every drop of gorgeous you.  This site is full of information on how you can become the confident, sassy Bitch.  And if you want more?  A Facebook page to keep you grounded with like minded, sassy women:  Bitch Lifestyle on Facebook   And if you want even more, luscious more?  My private coaching program designed to help get you there: Private Coaching

So this week at Bitch University, here are your assignments:

1. Making Friends Elle Woods Legally Blonde  and Movie Star Carole Lombard Knew How to Live 
   
2. Feisty Fall Fun  
   
3. Nurture your gorgeous intellect with Bitch Lifestyle Daily
4. Join our Sassy Bitch Rebellion on Facebook  
   
5. Unleash Your Anger 
   
6. Understanding Men

Have fun (sassy smile) Love, Goddess

For a preview of the upcoming Bitch Lifestyle: The Manual 

© S Stevens Life Strategies