Why Men You Don’t Like Chase You

Picture from Real Simple www.realsimple.com

Why do men you don’t like chase you?

Because you’re not interested.  Because you’re not interested you don’t change your schedule to accommodate him.  You don’t text or reply back to an email right away because you’re working, with girlfriends, working out, sleeping, shopping.  So why does “Mr. I Don’t Like” keep chasing you?

He sees you as a challenge and likes it.  Men like challenges.  By not responding to their charms, you’re giving it to them.  What they like about you is not only your looks, it’s the fact that you’re enjoying your life and staying grounded in it like glue.  Not because you have to.  Because you love your life!   You haven’t met anybody or anything appealing enough to distract you or add to your life.  And his ego would just love it if you, lovely you, would see what a great guy he is.  So he can “add to your life.”  Ego happy!

Then you meet that hot piece of ass.  That guy you look at and you feel it all over.  Instant chemistry.  He’s acting a bit too cool or nervous and you know you have him.  He gets your number.  You just know he’s going to call.  How could he not?

This is where you may start getting off track.  You may check your messages a few more times a day to see if he texted or called.  You may start thinking things like this:  “He hasn’t texted me!  Why?  We had such a connection!”  Instead of enjoying the wonderful encounter you had with him, The Brat takes over with the whys, how comes, and the real kicker:  how do I get his attention!


Think of it this way.  Yeah, you like him.  But like Mr. I Don’t Like, he’s going to have to earn time in your life.  By treating you how you like.  If he calls, he calls.  If not, there is someone even better that is coming to you.  If you stay on track with your life.  This takes focus, practice and intention, hotties!

So cool!  Mr. Hot and Sexy calls or texts and sets up a date.  Whoo hoo!  Then expectations start setting in. You start thinking of that first kiss, how nice it would be to be held in those well toned biceps of his.  The laughter, the play, the “this is going to be sooooo good.”

Okay.  Get a grip a bit.  😉  I’m not saying don’t enjoy the thought of your next encounter.  Not at all.  I’m asking you to slow down at this point and let him chase you and prove you he’s worthy of your kiss, your time, your feeling safe enough to get closer. This takes time.  These posts will help you stay in the moment more and STOP expecting things to happen a certain way.  So you can slow down, feel comfortable and safe to open up more:

  1. Let a Man Chase You and Here’s How http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/let-a-man-chase-you-heres-how/
  2. What We Can Learn From Men’s Magazines:  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/06/what-you-can-learn-from-men-magazines/
  3. What You Can Do To Land A Man. Give Me a  Break.  http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/05/what-you-can-do-to-land-a-man-give-me-a-break/
  4. Rent the movie “Ever After.”  Danielle will show how it’s done: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/09/ever-after-not-your-typical-cinderella-movie/

Posts that show you how to deal with Disrespect from a man:

  1. How Not To Be Late Night Booty Call Girl: http://bitchlifestyle.com/2009/08/how-not-to-be-late-night-booty-call-girl/
  2. Signs A Man Wants You To Chase Him http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/08/dating-concept-1-signs-a-man-wants-you-to-chase-him/
  3. If a Man Wants to Borrow Money http://bitchlifestyle.com/2011/04/if-a-man-wants-to-borrow-money/
  4. Dealing With a Demanding Man http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/10/dealing-with-a-demanding-man/

Let him earn his first kiss. You only get one together.  Why not slow down and enjoy the tension more a bit? Listen to his words with a healthy dose of skepticism. Smile and say you’re more impressed with actions than words.   Reviewing the above posts will help you  stay grounded when you meet Mr. Hot and Sexy.  By staying grounded in your life you’re keeping yourself safe, and his ego is being bolstered because he has to earn time with you.  By treating you like the lovely lady you are.  By respecting you and your passions, work, friends, family, responsibilities.

One more very important thing.  When you meet “Mr. I Don’t Like,” who absolutely adores you?  Treat him with the same respect you would want to get if the situation is reversed.  When you meet a man who is a mess, try and educate him, respectfully, why it isn’t going to happen.  Here is an example:  Dealing With a Man Not Ready to Date:   http://bitchlifestyle.com/2010/08/dealing-with-a-man-not-ready-to-date/

So why rush?  Enjoy the attention from him or the next man.  Thank him and be grateful for anything he would like to do for you.  Communicate what you would like.  Kick box, yoga or dance away your nerves so you can ground yourself.  Study the above posts.  And play play play!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

3 thoughts on “Why Men You Don’t Like Chase You

  1. BIG UP!

    A little impressive scene – met a cutie two days ago, he’s a friend of a friend of a friend. We had a pretty good conversation going but we lost track of each other during bar hopping. And yesterday evening, I got a text message from him – it is impressive cause I did not give him my number, but he managed to track down my number from my friend.

    I was thinking of tracking him down at first, but I thought if he enjoyed the conversation as much as I did, I’m sure he would do anything possible to track me down. And he did! Good job.

    By the way, just got another hottie’s invitation to a BBQ just now. 😛

    Get pretty busy and lucky these days – perhaps like you said, it’s Spring time!

  2. Yes! Elisa…
    You’re keeping grounded in your life, letting the men chase you and keeping your options open.
    Your heart deserves nothing less than the best!
    Hugs, Goddess

Leave a Comment