Your wants and passions. I’ve said it over and over. Your wants and passions are the keys to making you glow and propel you into your Sassy Confident Bitch.
It’s important to stay aware: looking over your wants and passions list, updating, adding, deleting, because they can be pushed aside for other things. When you neglect a passion you may start to get cranky. You miss it and want it! You may start to let it affect other passions. Then you have two passions affected. Then another curve ball is thrown into the mix. And another and another. You’re the Sassy Bitch handling it all brilliantly. But you’re still neglecting something.
Being a Sassy Bitch is a blast but it isn’t easy. When you’re the Sassy Bitch you affect everyone around you. If you fall off your game, you start to feel guilt and beat yourself up a bit. Then Drama Queen starts to babble silly advice to you. Silly advice a Sassy Bitch would never take. The next thing you know you can’t get in touch with your best friend to vent and you’re venting to a close guy friend. He’s able to identify your problem in one sentence and then you get mad at him. You…in your Drama Queen thinks he doesn’t know you well enough to understand ALL that is going on with you. So you ignore him or tell him off. The next day? You’re Sassy Bitch tells you he was right.
This scenario happened to one of my coaching clients recently. She has two very strong passions: Her rock band and crafting. For years she has been making beautiful things for craft shows. The Holidays=high crafting season. Her rock band has really picked up steam lately. They have shows every weekend and she is loving the opportunities that are finally coming her way. This conflicts with her craft shows. She had to choose. She chose weekends with the rock band. She said to me one day:*
Sandy: I’m totally in my Drama Queen.
Me: You don’t sound it.
Sandy: I am! We had a show this weekend and I didn’t want to do it. I was frustrated about the show and frustrated with myself because I felt ungrateful. Then there were travel issues, I didn’t get all the work and shopping I needed to get done this weekend, AND this guy from my past has returned and he’s being wonderful. Which is damn scary.
Me: Why didn’t you really want to do the show?
Sandy: This is going to sound stupid.
Me: I’m not going to think that.
Sandy: I haven’t had the time do craft shows this season. That’s all I could think about! And Calvin from the group said that to me and I told him off. He noted how edgy I was during the show. That was not cool of me. What do you do when two passions collide like this? How do you stay in your Bitch?
Me: First, give yourself a break. Your crafting passion is AWOL. The opportunities from your rock band have made you miss out on your crafting opportunities. So the solution is start being grateful for all the opportunities you have. And find creative ways not to let your crafting passion be shut out.
Sandy: I’m mad at myself for not making the time earlier.
Me: You didn’t have the time earlier. You’re beating yourself up again.
Sandy: The success of the group is not forcing me to choose. I need to find time for my other passion, crafting. And ultimately, a way to make more money crafting. Which I’ve always wanted. I’ve wanted to start selling online for two reasons. One, I can make more money. Two, this would free up time on the weekend for my group.
Me: Yes. You’ve just turned the whole thing around. That’s my Sassy Bitch.
Guilty feelings sometimes come up when we feel bad about getting all we want. Hence the reason why we should start being grateful. Anger, a lot of times, is fear. It’s really scary getting everything you want. When you push through it by taking creative action, like Sandy is now doing, it gives you something new and positive to focus on! Questions? Let me know!
*Name has been changed for privacy purposes.
© S Stevens Life Strategies