Question Winner of the Week?

Image result for anne taintor images, rude people, toxic people, how to deal with,
              Gorgeous Anne Taintor found at the fab website Creating Myself. Check it out…

Question winner of the week?  It was a biggie!  I get a lot of emails about boys, but man oh man…this month your burning question is…

How do I deal with rude or toxic people?

First, let’s define “rude” and “toxic.”

  1.  Rude:   Refers to bad behavior or just plain bad manners. For example, children are taught to say “please” and “thank you” or they are considered rude.
  2.  Toxic:  Signs You’re Surrounded by a Toxic Person:  You’re emotionally affected by their drama. You dread (or fear) being around them. You’re exhausted or you feel angry while you’re with them or after your interaction.

In this blog post we will deal with the “rude” person.   The next post will deal with those delightful “toxic” people.  The bottom line with dealing with anyone is this:  We cannot control other people.  We can only control how we REACT toward other people.  Like the woman in the Anne Taintor image above?  We have the power to control how we want to deal with any situation.  So let’s go over several common “rude” occurrences and ways to deal with them in an empowered way.

Scenario #1:  Random Rude Person:  The rude person may just be having a bad day, frustrated by the toxic people around them or…ahem, just a bit of a jerk.  Usually they are casual acquaintances you rarely see or strangers you run into as you go about your day.  So how do you deal with Random Rude Person?   The best way really isn’t that much fun.  But it is the most practical and sensible way.  Ignore them.  Put your attention on something else.  Immediately.  This works with most everything.  A person makes a derogatory remark to you, jumps ahead of you in a line, makes a lot of unnecessary noise, etc.  You get the picture.  It’s not worth it to give this person the time of day.

Scenario #2:  What if someone invades your space?  For example, you are at the grocery store.  You’re trying to pick up something and someone reaches and grabs something else while touching you or pushing you away?  A firm “Pardon, Me,” works well.  It’s a hoot when someone reacts to this with “Oh, no problem.”  Have a little chuckle to yourself.

Scenario #3:  Can being overly nice serve to disarm a rude person?  Oh…yes it can.

A stranger angrily confronts you about something.  You have no idea what because it’s so sudden.  This scenario is a bit scary because of the sudden nature of it.  A sweet “Pardon Me?” will usually disarm most of them.  This has happened to me several times this year…a real anomaly, but this tactic has worked like a charm.  The person has backed off, a little guilty.  Like I said earlier…you never know when someone has had a bad day, gotten bad news or something has set them off.  Usually it’s better to just be nice, polite and mannered.  I know it isn’t fun and a bit “old fashioned,” but it’s a great way to help keep your life as drama free as possible.

Scenario #4:  Here’s a BIGGIE – The Clueless Rude Person: What happens when someone actually points out their own rudeness by interacting with you about it?

I had just pulled into a parking space to pick up a salad for lunch.  I get out of the car and start walking toward the restaurant.  Out of the right corner of my eye, 4 women start running.  Obviously and obnoxiously trying to beat me to the door.  They beat me to the door and the last lady sort of holds the door open for me.  As we line up to the counter, she turns around, all giggly with her friends and says to me:

“Well, you know we have a limited amount of time for lunch.”

To which I said:

“So do I.”  Right in her eyes, no emotion.

She jumped about 2 feet in shock and started talking to her friends.  Now THAT was fun.  Miss “My lunch is more important than anyone else’s” was highly embarrassed.  Being direct and unemotional is a learned skill we should all develop because it’s so effective.  It may or may not change another person, but by knowing this skill you will get much less crap from other people.  The links below will help teach you these skills.  These skills will also help you with another group of people.  The Toxic People.  They will be addressed in the very next post.  So get studying!  Love, Goddess

Sources to help learn the art of confident, direct and unemotional crap calling:

  1.   Learn How to Say it From a PRO:  Miss Manners’ Basic Training: The Right Thing to Say
  2.   A Resource Full of Ways to Become More Confident and Empowered:  Bitch Lifestyle The Manual
  3.   Fun YouTube Example of Dealing With Rudeness by TR Television

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Your New Adventure Awaits!

Happy New Year, New Year Planning

Image can be found at New Years Party on Pinterest.

Screw the resolutions, ladies!  Your new adventure awaits.  A year full of all you desire to create.  Adventure and travel, spreading love, joy and fun, developing new tastes, hobbies.  All you need is your imagination, action and who knows what you can accomplish?  I so look forward to this time of year.  Gratitude for the year that has gone by and all that I have to look forward to.  Wanna play with me?

Pick a time by the end of Jan 1st 2018.  Grab your laptop or a gorgeous writing pad and pen.  Light candles, sip on your favorite cocktail, cozy up in your favorite lingerie and softest blankets.  And REVEL.  REVEL in the brilliance of your past year.  How clever you are and all that you are grateful for.  Write it down to admire.  Now and when you don’t feel so clever.  Then…let your imagination run wild.  What would you love to accomplish and enjoy next year?  Write everything down, from the tiniest desire to the grandest.  Savor the thought of each one.  Post it where you can see it.  Fall asleep dreaming about them!

Then…develop an action plan for them.  Some will be easier than others…some will take more planning.  Some may be outrageous.  No matter.  Your desires and creations will fuel you through good, bad and routine.  Just start.  Write, admire and plan.  Oh…and please share.  SHARE.  Your creativity will inspire us all!  Have the happiest next few days planning your most incredible New Years EVER!

Love, Goddess

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Happiest Happy EVER

Image result for candles snow public domain images

Gorgeous candle image found at  Free Stock Photo

Wishing everyone and those you love the happiest…

Sassiest…

Warmest…

Loving…

Healthiest…

Holiday Season and….New Year!  Love, Goddess

 

© S Stevens Life Strategies

Financially Enabled or Empowered?

Image result for women money images anne taintor
                                 Awesome image from Anne Taintor on Pinterest

Are you Financially Enabled or Empowered?  If you haven’t read my last post about these two rather powerful words Do You Empower or Enable Those You Love?  it will be helpful to read that first.  Then meet me back here for your ” assessment.” So in the name of making finances fun, here is your “Sassy Financial Bitch” quickie quiz:

Please check all that apply:

  1.   I am debt free.
  2.   I am actively saving 15% or more of my income.
  3.   I use my debit card instead of my credit card.  When I use my debit card it is for budgeted items.
  4.   I have a budget and stick with it.
  5.   I have a plan for my future:  Specific goals and a time table for completion.
  6.   I’ve tried to budget, but, like stuff happens.  Like Christmas and people’s birthdays.
  7.   I never save for stuff.  I just buy it.
  8.   I have boxes of stuff like make-up and body care that I never use or have never even opened.
  9.  Instead of going to a higher education institution I can afford, I took out a student loan and now I owe  $87,000 and my husband owes $50,000.
  10.   I make $200,000 a year and am in debt.

Okay…it’s pretty obvious which check offs are more empowering, right?  And before you scoff at the “I make $200,000 and I’m in debt” scenario I recently talked to a lady who was in just that situation.  She was making all this money but had no idea how to budget.  She was overwhelmed and a little ashamed at her lack of financial acumen. One of the most empowering things you can do for yourself is take care of yourself financially.  Before I give you a great source for financial advice here are a few research items that surprised me and that may surprise you:

  • 76% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck.
  • Student loan debt is at a ridiculous level.
  • 90% of us buy things we can’t afford.

Yeah…that last one was me in the past.  I used to have debt and was having a love affair with my credit card.  I found something that worked for me and it can work for you.  A financial success system I started to listen to on the radio. I’m not making any money off this recommendation.  Just playing it forward.  I did the work and so can YOU.  How I succeeded was by listening to Mr. Dave Ramsey.  He has a radio show, pod cast and website with everything you need to succeed.  You don’t have to spend a dime.  You can if you want to, but I didn’t.  You can start empowering your financial life by clicking on this link:  Dave Ramsey.  So what are the benefits to you?

  • You will have immediate access to pod casts that will inspire you.  It may make you feel better about your situation because of the many people in worse financial trouble than you.
  • Budgeting tools.
  • Investing tool that will show you how much you could have when you retire.
  • Articles, sources and more.
  • 7 Baby Steps to Success.  I am happily on #4!

There is even a section for women who want to start their own businesses.  Love.  So please visit this great source for all things financial.  It empowered me and I desire the same for YOU.  Love, Goddess

Helpful Financial Resources:

The Total Money Make Over:  Dave Ramsey

Overcoming Underearning:  Barbara Stanny

Secrets of the Millionaire Mind:  T. Harv Eker

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© S Stevens Life Strategies